Sunday
Oct242010
Having It All
October 24, 2010 * * * * * Posted by: Marcie 
It was another in a long list of ‘lasts’. She – being my youngest my three – is always the one I seem to ‘end’ with. Senior year…and parents weekend. A rite of passage..a part of the fall semester and college life. Altho there is some relief in knowing that this is my ‘last’ call-to-duty …it is also hugely bittersweet. A beginning of an end. An end of a beginning. Either way – it is.
She is living – this year – with 5 other young women in a house of their own. Beautiful girls. Smart. Strong. Talented. Ambitious. Socially conscious. Politically savvy. Aware of where they sit in the global community. They have the world in the palm of their hands. Anything and everything is open and available to them. Professions that were once nothing more than impossible dreams for women..are now very possible and real. There is nothing they can do that any man can do better.
As I walked around the ivy-covered campus….I couldn’t help think back to my college years..to this age and stage of my life. How different the world is for the young women of today. At the college I attended - us women – were few and far between. We were studying and training for professional careers that had been traditionally dominated by men. Tests and scores indicated that we were certainly as smart and capable..but there was always a sense of needing to prove ourselves better. To work harder…longer..more. A constant undercurrent of needing to excel and exceed in order to survive on a playing field that was dominated by men.
Of course – without the generation of women who preceded..the possibilities open and available to us would never have been. They – the few brave and bold – were the first to squeeze their way thru doors that had previously been barred and locked. I know many sacrificed much..in order to achieve the professional status for which they worked. It is to them I bow in gratitude..for without them we – our generation – never could.
Betwixt and between. At that age where my memory is good enough to recall a different time and day..and my vision is clear enough to see the the vast world of possibility and future these young women of my daughter’s generation have before them. Where we had to push our way thru those doors that were just beginning to open..they are walking right thru. There is no longer a thought to having to prove themselves better..or stronger..or smarter. This new world is gender-blind and neutral. These young women are equal to any young man. Not for an instant do any of them believe it to be any other way.
Of course – their journeys are just beginning. Hard to know how it is that they’ll put it all together. The professional careers..the marriages..the families. We know now – that it wasn’t always easy. But somehow – I like to believe that they’ll do it with a little more ease and grace..and a lot less struggle than we. These beautiful..strong..smart..talented young women appear to be more balanced. They’ve learned from the generation before them that they can have it all. They can be smart and pretty and athletic. They can be doctors and lawyers and architects and investment bankers and artists and musicians and more. They can be wives and mothers and sisters and daughters.
They can have it all..and I’m betting that – they will.
Reader Comments (14)
Marcie:
I resonate with the bittersweetness of sending one's last (for me only) child off to college.
I am surprised and moved by your optimism. Your, our, generation of women helped make their journey easier. We widened the opening of doors for these young women. I don't know, however, if their world will be gender-blind and neutral. I hope so.
i loved this photo. you MUST look at fellow bostonian, rania matar's, project on teenage girls' rooms...having said that, i adored this post. thoughtful, compassionate, and a taste of the vulnerability that comes from looking at your last with deep wonder.
i believe your daughter will understand the importance of "remember who brought you to the dance." she is your daughter after all...
oh i so relate to this and you have written a lovely piece filled with nostalgia and hope mixed together. I t is amazing to watch daughters grow through this stage ..blessings friend
Oh, Marcie, so well put. And I love the photo!
In reading this lovely 'passage' through YOUR eyes, Marcie, I realize how much this is one of OUR rites as mothers, perhaps even more so than for our daughters. We ponder all these things in our hearts and then watch what happens.
My daughter graduated from college in 1994 and today IS in one of those places where any young/old man would envy, at the top of her field. She just moved to a new company with a 20% raise, almost unheard of in this day and age. It IS like the world is in the palm of their hands. And yet, I've also watched her go through her blood, sweat and tears. I'm guessing the generation before us did the same thing because they, too, were ahead of their time in many ways (at least my own mother was).
So much to ponder...and to believe in for this brave, new world.
Indeed, so well put. That picture is gorgeous. Although I don't have this experience it is lovely to read yours.
Yes, it is a different world. And maybe not entirely 100% gender-blind and neutral, but light years beyond where we were at that age.
What a journey, for you and your daughter. And as you both move along your own path, what a world of discovery awaits you.
Beautiful picture and post, and while it might have one of your "lasts," there are going to be so many more "firsts" ahead of you...
And most of all, I hope that they will keep independent from other people's opinion and walk their way, follow their dreams. Listen to the voice in their heart. And never loose their compassion.
Beautiful post, Marcie. I can relate with the bittersweetness - I seem to encounter that all the time with just one child.
Well, I just lost my wonderfully worded comment, so we'll see if I can remember what I just said...
I can't remember any bittersweet feelings when my youngest went off to college or when he graduated, just a huge sense of relief that we'd made it this far. Maybe it's because I have sons and don't have any daughters of my own - only daughters-in-law (or soon to be). Like some others have mentioned, I don't think we are quite to the point where we are gender-blind and neutral, but maybe by the time our children's children are adults it will be so. A lovely post, Marcie.
It is simply incredible to think where we've come, through the efforts of some who plowed the way for us. I too am grateful. All the best to your daughters, and to you. You are such a free and bold spirit, Marcie. No wonder you and yours are moving ahead into places of passion.
I could write a whole post about my feelings on this topic and the impact for me of my own daughter's university days and her evolving life versus mine.
It is a great post, Marcie and one that has made me revisit something I considered a few months ago after a conversation with my daughter. Thanks for that.
Oh I pray that they do. I got goosebumps. Such a great photo too.
My dentist is a women. I've now worshiped in a church with a women pastor. Our financial adviser is a woman. Yes...the world is changing. New doors are opened every day.
Every once in awhile I kind of wish I could have a "do over" -- thinking that today's women have so much available to them...
You seem to have such a wonderful relationship with your daughters; a bond so strong and deep.
As always, I love your posts and images. This is no exception.
This is a lovely post. I miss my girls as they have left home and now have own families. The boys will probably be home for a few years more. I sometimes miss having a all girls chat on regular basis. Anyway it is as it should be. We prepare our children the best we can so they can go out in life as strong, confident and happy people.