We are NOT amused.
February 25, 2010 
Long before Vision and Verb came into being, I found myself musing about muses. I wondered if I had one or where you could get one if you didn't have one. Then, of course, I found it amusing that I wasn't really sure what a muse was, where did that word come from? It's one of those things, I use a word, I use it in the right context, I know what it means and then I'll find myself doubting my knowledge and have to look the word up. Yes, I confess, I am one of those geeks that has a small hardback dictionary beside my bed, it looks to have come from a second hand book shop and it is the "New Canadian Dictionary" (the cover is the loveliest shade of blue). It is not new at all but it brings me great comfort to have it at hand, a book of words about other words is such a brilliant tool. So, I looked it up. Muse: "A guiding spirit". Aha! This was exactly what I was looking for, a guiding spirit, someone who could, for lack of a better word, guide* me on this creative journey. (*perhaps I need a thesaurus as well!)
Over the next few months, from time to time, I thought about having a muse and I wondered what other people experienced. Did inspiration come to them like a flash of lightning? Has the story or the painting always been inside them, lying dormant, patiently waiting to be released? Like in all things, once I started to pay attention, a small crack appeared and wisps of ideas started making their way into my mind. It was as if I had started to write, but not on paper, in my mind. But there was a problem. My muse calls to me through the quiet dawn. She sneaks her way into my creative self when I am sleeping. She whispers to me and at first, I pretend not to hear her, snuggling more deeply into the only time of day when I am whole and relaxed. A time of day before the busyness of life starts snatching bits of me for itself, fracturing the calm. Over time I have become a little more active in the process, paying more attention, trying to commit to memory the words that spill over themselves, still staying quiet, eyes closed, nestled in the warmth of our bed. Elaborate essays and short stories abound, tumbling around in my head.
Now, I am grateful for this gift, don't misunderstand me and I don't want to be bullheaded about the whole thing, after all, this is very new and I recognize that I am not good with change and impatient as well, but I really want to give whoever is in charge of assigning muses a call and lodge a complaint. I think my rant would go like this, "I cannot believe that you sent me a muse that is not very well suited to me. I don't have time for my muse, did you not know that I am not a morning person? How could you not know this? I just can't in the morning. I can't wake up quickly, I can't talk nicely, I want to stay in blissful sleep, I don't want to pay attention and you can't make me. I am not amused!"
So here I am, finally finding a voice that helps me to write and envision pictures, a voice that encourages me and wants me to do well and she is showing up at the wrong end of the day. I am resentful that all the good ideas and strong words burn off with the morning light, lost forever to me because I don't get up and pay attention. I have made a concession by moving journal and pen to bedside so I can make chicken scratch notes of ideas, but I find it very disruptive to actually have to write things down! The recent purchase of a small booklight has allowed me to write a bit more without waking up too much. But I am still not sold on the idea of morning writing.
In the meantime, I know I can't let this opportunity go so I'll bumble along being very careful to pay attention to the small things because there is always a chance I'll happen on something that will win my muse over to the beauty of the sunset.
Reader Comments (15)
Love this!! I too am greeted each morning by my muse...and I've grown to love to reach out and meet her before dawn breaks and whisks her away. So beautifully written. You made me smile...
I guess it comes when there is room to roam in your head. That is hard to find during the busyness of life. I would advise a dictaphone next to you bed, better than writing. ;-)
love your picture!
You make me laugh Kath! You and Margie both have a great sense of humor. That muse is can be so annoying when you are trying to get some sleep!
HA! I love it, Kath. Be careful what you wish for comes to mind. :D Petra's dictaphone might work, if you don't have to worry about waking anyone up. But that muse of yours is having fun with you. Look at how she inspired you to play with words! :)
My motto is to learn at least one new thing every day. Since I started participating in this I have stories in my head all the time. It feels rather strange since I have never thought to be any good at putting words to my images. It seems this project have started something in each and every one of us :-) I think a dictaphone would be handy to have next to your bed.
I love the image of today!!
being the other sister i can vouch for the fact that kath is not easily amused in the morning!! this is a terrific piece of writing sister. good for you.
Good for you, You have a gift. Putting words on paper is just that.
Keep the muse working. MomT
Your muse is asking you to take the time and write. Good for you, You have a gift. Putting words on paper is just that. Keep the muse working. Keep it up - Mom
thought you might enjoy this, "Muses work all day long and then at night get together and dance." ~Edgar Degas
I am not a morning person either, but still I awake around 5:30 every morning, even on the weekends. I used to be able to sleep until noon...I'd like to be that person again, just every once in a while. I don't know if I have a muse. I just find my ideas in the events of what's happening in my life.
"My muse calls to me through the quiet dawn. She sneaks her way into my creative self when I am sleeping. She whispers to me and at first, I pretend not to hear her, snuggling more deeply into the only time of day when I am whole and relaxed. A time of day before the busyness of life starts snatching bits of me for itself, fracturing the calm. Over time I have become a little more active in the process, paying more attention, trying to commit to memory the words that spill over themselves, still staying quiet, eyes closed, nestled in the warmth of our bed. Elaborate essays and short stories abound, tumbling around in my head."
Yes! Yes! Yes!!! I totally and completely understand and relate to this.
Often times that's when the best ideas are born.
Nicely written. It is interesting how people get their inspiration...from within and without. Thank goodness my muse does often come late at night when I am most receptive to her...maybe you can retrain yours?
Haha, I agree so much, I am so NOT a morning person, and right now I am reading The Sound of Paper which recommends an exercise every day called "Morning Pages". Needless to say, I usually end up writing them at 11:00 o'clock at night. Your musings reminded me very much of a post (on muses) that I recently wrote: http:///www.thebluemuse.com/?p=60 we seem to have a lot in common!
awww kath i love this post with the predictable note of humor and consternation at life's way of doing things out of sinc with your needs. you are a good writer. maybe your muse is hanging around in the morning trying to get tips form you rather than the other way around....
xo