Wednesday
Mar102010
Downsizing the Elephant in the Room
March 10, 2010 
Ah yes, the elephant in the room. The thing we don't like to talk about, the thing that is best left ignored or not understood. I had one, my very own elephant, something that I didn't really want to deal with. Something I was sure I knew best about and that I was right. Finally I downsized my elephant. I had to, seven years ago, a man came into my life, a true love and true love meant we would live together, in the same house, sharing the same space. It was perfect and life was idyllic except for one small thing, actually many things, big and small. You see, I had a lot of stuff. I had an unimaginable number of "important things". I was not as bad as the hoarders you see on reality television but I was hanging on to just about everything I had ever been gifted, beautiful treasures I had bought and special scores I had found on the side of the road. Cups & saucers, pots & pans, yogurt & margarine containers (empty - I was going to use them, for something, eventually, I'm sure I had a plan), magazines, books, shelves loaded with little things, pictures & frames, candles & holders, things that made me happy. All those little collections meant so much to me. I didn't think I could ever part with all my things.
As we settled into our home as a happy new couple, a realization came to me that I didn't need all that stuff. But what to do? Margie had orchestrated a huge garage sale about four years prior to this and I was horrified, absolutely horrified, that she could sell her things. I didn't see it, what was wrong with her? Did she not have any idea how great all that stuff was? She had fantastic stuff. How would she ever replace those things? I thought that without all the stuff she would be left bereft, all the memories and good feelings would fly out the window. But then I found myself standing in a new life, looking at all my things, which strangely now looked different, they didn't seem so powerful anymore. We had our own giant garage sale and it was giant – so giant that we made enough money to fly to Las Vegas to get married! Margie stood on the sidelines of that garage sale and smiled knowingly at little sister's revelation.
I am no longer lagging behind, both Margie and I are now in phase two of getting rid of things, except now not just selling our things, we're getting rid of our houses. Not just a garage sale, sell the whole darn garage! We are both downsizing. Yes, even our houses are too big. We yearn to recede to apartment style living. We ache to live a lifestyle where our homes are small and contained. Homes where we can turn off the lights, turn the key and leave everything completely safe and sound for a few weeks. No newspapers to pick up, no lawns to cut, no snow to shovel and in both our cases, no houseplants that we care enough about that we would have to arrange for them to be watered. Margie is on a countdown to move into their new condo and we are sporting a bright red for sale sign on our front lawn.
My daydreams are spent creating an inventory of all the things I am going to part with. Things I will joyfully part with and send them off with love to bring joy to other people and beauty to other homes. Yes, even the plastic elephant might have to go.
I wonder if this is an age thing for some of us, do we learn with time that the things are just things, we don't really need them? Or is there an innate need to downsize as we age, to make a smaller world at home so we can explore the bigger world outside our front door or explore the infinite world of our imaginations and not be tethered by all those things?
So, tell us, how about you? Are you shedding your things & downsizing, looking for a new light-style?
Reader Comments (20)
You and Margie already know my answer to this, Kath, of course, since I just downsized everything to fit into two truckpacks for sailing to Holland! I did it over the course of 9 months and found it happens by degrees...first this much went, then a month later some more stuff left, until most of it was gone. In the end, I made enough money for Astrid amd me to buy a brand new car here in Holland. Was it worth it? You betcha.
But a word of caution for your new spaces: make sure you have renter's insurance! I bought a condo in 1990 after my divorce and knew it was insured. I didn't know its contents weren't automatically insured until my financial adviser asked me one day. I immediately insured everything and a month later our entire condo building burned to the ground! The good news is that I was indeed insured and was able to decide what I wanted to replace (6 months later the condo was rebuilt!). That's another way to downsize, which I don't recommend, but it does show you that all those "things" are just that...transitory things you can't take with you! I guess we all have to learn that sooner or later. I love that you and Margie are learning it now in a very determined and fun way, giving yourselves rewards for all the pain and effort! And the kids don't have to figure it all out later! :) CONGRATULATIONS.
And the image is PERFECT for your post!!!
Not me, although I should. Right now I need MORE space. I need to get rid of some of my stuff to make room in the closet to store my sons' stuff...skis, ski boots, baseball card collections...maybe I could sell those and rake in some dough...hmmm... :) I'm sure at some point I'll be ready to downsize, but right now, with two dogs and a cat, I'm not. Well done, Kath!
Yeah, I know its coming, but not just now. I try not to get to much stuff in the first place. I found out that throwing away immediately (before the 'sweet' memories) is easier than after a while. Good post!
There's hardly a day that I don't think that this oversized house is just too big. But then - one or another or all of my kids come home for vacation or break..and we're overfull. Almost ready...but not quite. Am secretly looking forward to when downsizing is a real possibility. I could easily sell it all..and start fresh. Wonderful post!!!
We've had garage sales. We've taken stuff to the dump. We've given to charity. We've given stuff away. AND...we STILL have too much STUFF!
I will say, however, that my STUFF has changed over the years. My STUFF used to be fancy collectibles and figurines. Now family pictures and smooth river rocks I've collected are more important to me. :)
fourteen days and counting. i am truly excited and expect that i will have quite a bit more paring down to do when we actually take possession of our condo. not to worry, today i am going through the closet. my clothes better look pretty smart on those hangers or they are not coming with me.
I have been downsizing for the last twenty years and I am still
doing it. The answer is quit buying more mementos and gadjets.I givaway and throwaway every week and still have too much.Nice work girls, Keep it up. Less is better. MomVN
Over the past two years I have gradually learned to let some things go. I'm getting better at it, but it is still a challange because I have been sorry a few times over something that I had let go and could now use. By the way, if I searched long enough through my stuff, I bet I could find an elephant like the one in the photo.
Farmergal
Great post! Certain family members came into mind when I read this post. As for me, my husband and I live in a good-size apartment but what I would I do for my own laundry room or a storage locker! I love to "purge" through my belongings twice a year, though. There's something freeing about decluttering and re-organizing our home. Anyway, good luck selling your house! I hope the perfect buyers walk through your front door soon and that you find your dream condo soon after.
After a humanitarian trip to Guatemala, I realized how much of my stuff is actually excess. Since then, I've been working to simplify and get rid of "things". It's amazing how much I can get rid of -- and still have too much! I look forward to the day when we can down-size into a smaller place with fewer things!
I'm not much of a pack rat and don't have problems throwing stuff away but I do have an issue: for about 20 years my friend and I have been corresponding with each other daily and I've saved all the letters. We also decorate them with stickers so they're like little works of art. They're in big bags in the cellar. Next year we'll be relocating and our new home doesn't have a cellar or much storage space. What am I going to do with those letters?
Oh yes, we've done that once already when we moved from our 4400 sq. ft home to our current 1200 sq ft home. We gave away a great deal of "stuff" and furniture. That was a huge undertaking. But now with retirement on the horizon we're looking to downsize even more. I'm really looking forward to it because I still feel we have too much stuff.
I loved your statement, "... to make a smaller world at home so we can explore the bigger world outside our front door ..." -- So very true!
I enjoyed your essay ...i do not like clutter...but SOMEONE else does..constant give and take so to speak...
I looked through my basement the other week and my answer would be...no, I've not yet downsized. But yes, I feel like I should. My things just make it feel like home though. Maybe when the kids leave the house?
Elephants...did I hear elephants!!!!!! :) I know just what you mean...my house is full of the 'clutter' (i like to call it treasured antiques, James calls it junk) that I have carried around with me for years. I cannot be without my treasures, but they grow daily almost. One day there will be no room for us :)
Linda, could you scan the letters? An elephant sized task.
Getting rid of 'stuff'....... I try, I am better than some of my household. The roof is being renewed soon, the loft will have to be emptied, oh dear... and did mention the barn? The trouble with space is it gets filled!
It was just about this time two years ago that I made a decision to follow my heart to a new country. Within a few weeks, I was selling off my belongings and planning a new life. My old life was a good one and my things were very important to me or at least I thought that they were until I met John.
Once my furniture began to walk out the door with people, (things I thought I could never give up) I realized what an important gift I was being given in the opportunity to let go of the things that kept me rooted in one place. I remember standing in the living room thinking about how learning to let go of my stuff was certainly one of the gifts of my new journey. A few months later, my blog titled Gifts of the Journey was born and a year after that, the last of my " important " things came over to the UK in only 200 cubic feet of space.
Good luck with the rest of your move.
I wish you a quick sale. I need a personal assistance (it seems) to rip some of the stuff from my hands...argh. lol.
xo
I'm not there quite yet but I try not to drown in things. It's better with space and air in every room. Both in my house and in my soul.
I had a lot of things I held on to. I have a shelf (one) that I have those significant treasures on (a little replica of a gong my aunt gave me when I was 9) I took pictures of all of the old things and got rid of them. I didn't give them away or sell them. Threw them away - but i kept the memories. You remember your first car? Can't keep it now cn ya?
No I keep memories and good things in my heart.