Friday
Mar262010
Morning, Mist and Momma
March 26, 2010 * * * * * Posted by: guest blogger 
My mother was a teacher for over 30 years. A vision of principles and order. Through my childhood eyes, she wouldn’t take a shower for fear of leaving me, a newborn, alone for even a few minutes or she would bring the bassinet into the bathroom and check on me every so often from underneath a veil of steamed air. When I became a rebellious teenager, she tried to tell me to always take a jacket with me into the cold and that a salad accompanies every dinner. Knowledge to be digested and understood. Unconditionally, she cared as Mothers always do. So, when I received a call from Florida that my mother had been having heart trouble, I immediately rushed to her side.
There is a strange shift that occurs in the World when you see your mother become a flawed and vulnerable human being. Like an invisible ripple that changes everything, but in an ever so slightly way and I became an actor who took center stage, but who hadn't fully learned his lines. I watched, intently as an animated monitor showed how blood wasn’t pumping to the left side of her heart. Important decisions had to be made and three short hours later, I saw, verbalized in her eyes that she had given up the outcome of her quadruple bypass surgery to a higher power. She was calm as she removed her wedding ring and placed it heavy in my hand. I knew I must remain spirited for my Dad, as I slowly explained how there was a machine that circulated her blood around and around to keep her alive while the doctors repaired the heart that had fallen in love with him 46 years ago. Later, surrounded by beeps, tired from the long operation, she was transparently pale and sleeping. I wanted to brush the stray hairs from her face, but we could only stay a minute and then were told to come back in the morning. Afterwards, my Dad turned to me in the crowed hospital elevator and said, “That wasn’t so bad...” and then I broke down and cried, in an uncontrolled childish way, among strangers. But by the time the elevator doors opened, I was composed and all the visitors paired off and dissolved down separate veined walkways into the warm night.
A weekend stay for me turned into three weeks of recovery, taking on the role of caretaker and helping with the added responsibilities of healing. There was lots of laughter: watching my Dad in his bathing suit as he assisted my mother in the shower or me asking the visiting nurse with a straight face, “Will my mother ever be able to play the violin again?“ and when the nurse said, "yes"...we would burst out laughing and say, “Great...because she never could before!” or finally, my Dad, telling the nutritionist that my mother took Ecstasy, when he really meant, Ester C. Soon, my mother began to inflate into the woman she used to be. She started to exercise again, visit future heart patients with advice and proudly wear v-neck blouses due to the doctor's choice to make a low chest incision.
As my plane departed, I left behind a piece of me in my mother's world and realized we had come full circle. My mother and I. She had become the teacher again, instilling in me, new chalked lessons about strength and courage to carry with me through Life...never to be erased.
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Special guest post today by Ken Rathke of One Planet | Photoblog. Thank you, Ken, for joining us today with your wonderful words and image.
Reader Comments (20)
Wow, Ken, what a great essay! That was really touching. Glad your mom recovered so well. Good photo, too!
What a beautiful tribute to your mother..to motherhood in general and to the strength and lessons we learn from them. And - the accompanying image is so perfectly paired to go with this heartfelt story!! Thank-you so much for contributing today!!!
This really touched me deeply today... Your post brought back memories of my Mum and of the many health problems that afflicted her. I remember I thought I had become her mother, like we suddenly had exchanged roles.
Thanks for your beautiful words and the inspiring image!
Beautiful story Ken! It describes what I am going through right now. The picture is perfect too!
Beautiful story and picture, Ken. Glad to hear from you here at V&V
Beautiful story and photo...I am going through similar things with my parents now, things breaking down, being replaced, repaired. Modern medicine in all its glory. It is hard yet also endearing to see our parents as vulnerable human beings. Just like us.
thank you for joining us today ... this is what family is, isn't it? I saw the tag parenting and thought we really need a tag for familying .. when you come together as family.
A lovely tribute to your mother, Ken. It brought a tear to my eye this morning. You are a wonderful son, loving and caring, and I'd be quite proud to call you son (if you weren't so OLD and I wasn't so young). :)
PS Such a beautiful image to accompany your story. Thank you so much for joining us today!
Ken, I've been following your One Planet blog of late and kept thinking I'd like more 'verb' with the 'vision' there. So, was quite delighted to have your guest post pop up here this morning. Thanks for sharing the story - I had tears in my eyes at the wedding ring part and chuckled along with the ectasy bit. Striking image too...
fabulous read. Made me so teary.
As I read this very touching post, dear Ken, I couldn't help but think of that TV show from long ago, Queen for a Day. Who is more the "Queen" for this day, you or your mom, I'm not sure, but you both get the prize! Thanks for being willing to join with all us women of a certain age to become one of us. You fit right in, seamlessly. I'm so proud of you and am glad to have met you first on Shutterchance. I love your image today and think of it as your mom and you from long ago! I know she will live forever in you.
Ken this is such a touching and hopeful story. A tribute to your mother and to you. This must have made you stronger as a family. Beautiful picture to accompany your wonderful words.
Great post, Ken. A lovely look at the constantly changing circle of life, and a beautiful tribute to your mother.
hello, how lovely to see you here :). sitting here with cup of tea, early morning mist coming down off the mountain, thinking of my mother. have been thinking of her a lot lately, and then your post... i went through the whole hospital thing when i was 16, sadly she didn't recover. but she's followed me throughout my whole life, is very much a part of it especially out here in this african life that i know she would have loved. your words and pictures squeeze my heart.
Thanks Everyone for the warm welcome and touching comments!! When we expose a part of ourselves to the world and others can relate to the experience, it shows us we are never really alone in our actions and thoughts and can connect with one another in a truly wonderful way. Peace.
Ken what an amazing son your mother raised. Thank you for being on vision and verb today. I'm also quite a fan of your photography.
How beautiful! Thank you for honoring your mother. Even with our flaws, mothers hold families, communities, and nations together.
Farmergal
What a lovely gift you have been given Ken, to still have such a tender, loving relationship with your parents. Thanks for sharing it with us and allowing us to be witness to the grace the three of you share.
Beautifully written and the photo is absolutely magnificent!
peace to you ...
We are so fortunate to have you as a guest on Vision and Verb. As the others have so eloquently stated, the image and accompanying text quite touching.
I too have experienced this with BOTH of my parents. Your words very fitting and perfectly descriptive of the experience.