Saturday
May082010
Be still...
May 8, 2010 
Oh my, I’ve been sitting at my laptop looking at a blank page for what seems like forever, with not a thought in my head about what I would write and I really need something to write, because my post is up next and I can’t really put it off any longer. Mother’s Day would seem to be the perfect topic, but it just isn’t speaking to me this year. Not that I don’t love my mom and wish her the best and happiest of Mother’s Days (Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!). And I am a mom to two wonderful men who at some point will call to wish me a good day … if they don’t forget … that happens every once in a while. My mom has always been one to acknowledge every holiday that comes around – me, not so much and the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree where my sons are concerned. Okay, so Mother’s Day is out and yet I’ve dedicated a whole paragraph to it so far.
I had thought about writing a follow up to my Possibilities post from a couple of months back. In it I mentioned a friend who was all atwitter (and I don’t mean Twitter) about a woman that he asked out on a first date, with thoughts full of the possibilities of where this first date might lead. Well, that first date lead to a marriage proposal and acceptance! They got engaged just this week, now how cool is that? Just less than three months since that first date and they both just knew that it was right and that they were MFEO – Made for Each Other. My friend is like a totally different man and it is exciting to see the happiness on his face. Even some crap (oops, sorry) stuff that they are both going through this week can’t diminish the happy. Now that’s good stuff.
As you can see, though, that’s just one paragraph and not a whole story. Or maybe I’m just not trying hard enough. I need a muse, some inspiration to get me over this hump of a slump. I’ve moved outside since I started writing this, with my iPhone/iPod and earphones in place, and Beyoncé singing “Single Ladies” in my ear. The day is gorgeous. The clouds are puffy and white and slow moving for the first time this week. The sun is warm on my back and the glare on the screen makes it hard to see what I’m writing. My neighbor interrupts what little train of thought I have to say hello. Hello, neighbor!
I keep thinking about the studio that I should be cleaning out (my son is using it for storage) – I’ve been commissioned to create a piece of glass – a vessel, and it needs to be done by June and I haven’t started yet. Thoughts of what I should be doing and what I will be creating are keeping me from thinking about what I should be, or more correctly, could be writing right now. My mind will not be stilled, it wanders all over the place and doesn’t land in any one spot for very long. I’m being dusted by spray from the sprinkler and, combined with the sun’s rays, it makes me think of the ocean, which is the inspiration for the glass that I will be placing in the kiln before too long.
For not saying much of anything, I’ve managed to blabber on long enough. I’ll just stop here and beg your forgiveness for such a lousy entry for you – you deserve much better than this.
One final thought, though ... I wish those who celebrate it a wonderful Mother’s Day and for those who don’t celebrate, I wish you a wonderful Sunday. Next time my post will be better, I promise. For now, I’m headed into the studio to start the clean out …
Reader Comments (16)
Woman! You had me at the blank page LOVING how you were filling it up with one random thought after another. So fitting for a Gemini like me who usually flits from one thing to another. And yet you DID tie it all together as though you had planned it from the beginning. I love all the stories within the bigger story. I love the romantic joy that came out of that first date. I love apples falling not far from the tree. I love that you are gifted enough to be commissioned to create something for someone else. I love that you can go outside and feel the sun's warmth on your back.
And I love that you never have to be any better than what you have given us today...in vision and in verb!
I can understand you so much! It seems I'm coming up with no idea for my next post! I'm in a panic :) Really enjoyed the read. Have a great Sunday!
Love your honesty and truth..and that you're writing totally 'in the moment'. As things are happening and occurring to you. As is life!!!!
As I said - I think we're all beginning to lean into this..and simply enjoy for all it has to offer!! What a perfect way to go forward from there!!!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU TOO!!!!
It is nice to read that you have that what-to-write-problem too, but it is lovely to read how beautifully you solved that problem. Your writing is very visible, I can just see you sitting outside. Love that picture!
Hi, Toni
The picture takes me back to my Mom's and Grandma's flower gardens, as they always had "bleeding hearts." (at least that's what THEY called those plants). It's a beautiful photo!
Your Mom's across-the-street neighbor. SANDI
Yes, I love a bleeding heart! A gorgeous photo...and I love your entry, I'm sure we all feel that way at times and what a perfect way to solve it! I hope you'll share your glass piece with us when it is finished, I would love to see it. Happy Mother's Day to you!
Love that super colorful image. Well I would say you don't have to have a strong subject to still be articulate. You showed us that. Sometimes pictures are just "slices of our lives" rather than a masterpiece, and is there anything wrong with several paragraphs of the same? I think not! Expecially when it lets us into the writer's head.
A commission - how exciting!
I love the pretty bleeding heart photo with the colorful background...AND, I love the way you turned an "ordinary" day into (as Bob called it) "a slice of life."
Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mother Day Toni! Love you, Mom
Beautiful bleeding hearts; I still have to find the right place in my yard for these to grow well. My shady spots are all under trees; the domain of squirrels and such.
I enjoyed your random thoughts. I know what you mean about a blank page; I am feeling that today having to write a paper on organizational behavior, APA format and all. Blehh.
Happy Mother's Day, Toni....what a beautiful photo to celebrate the day! I love your creativity today. When I can't think of something to write, but I HAVE TO write, I think of Calvin and Hobbes.
Calvin: You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes: What mood is that?
Calvin: Last-minute panic.
Happy Mothersday, a lovely go with the flow post, what blogging is all about, I think.
sometimes the best 'stuff' comes from blabbering on and on ;)
i hope you have a great mother's day cleaning out your studio!
Well Toni, I enjoyed your writing even though you say you were not in the mood. I hope your sons call you soon. I heard in church today that moms remember everything with rapid recall, the first steps, the first words, the first smiles. It is why we don't like to be forgotten...CALL YOUR MOTHER BOYS!
Stream of consciousness writing, I love it!
i think you must have a wonderful house toni, a space that is yours, a sanctuary where you sit and create and just 'be'. i love what you write about...it always make me think of something that is missing from my life, not missing in a bad way - just something about your life appeals to me :)