Monday
Jun212010
Guiding Light
June 21, 2010 * * * * * Posted by: Frida 
There are many things in the world that needs a “guiding light” Things as boats, airplanes, trains, busses and also us humans.
Most people have an inner compass that lead us trough life. An inner feeling, that almost every time leads us the right way. A few wrong turns are unavoidable and many of us learn something new about ourselves through those wrong turns. There are people who always seems to be living in a world of -oops was that today?! Or always are late to meetings whether it is work related, family related or meetings with friends. You know from the start that you’ll have to wait 10 to 15 minutes before they show up. Even if you know that, you’re always there in time standing there waiting on a person whom always is late. When they finally shows up they say Oh! sorry have you been waiting for long?
But with an inner guiding light I mean an inner moral compass that leads me in life. If one reads the newspapers today they are filled with violence, war and abuse against children and adults. I have often wondered how the persons in the articles ended up as criminals. Is it in fact so easy that we can say it’s due to violent video games, certain music or lack of parental guiding? I don’t think so; it must be more complex than that. It can’t be so easy that a particular song text or game made a person go out and hurt or kill another person. It must have started much, much earlier in life. I think the problem is that no one has picked up the signals that must have been there earlier in life. Or they actually have done that but there haven’t been resources enough or time enough to help. To be able to avoid a tragic situation.
It has been many cases of violence against young women here in Sweden lately. In all those cases it has been a friend, boyfriend/husband/ex-husband or family member that has been responsible for their deaths. How can things go so wrong in a relationship or family? It is hard to even fathom how things can get so bad that it leads to one person killing another.
The inner moral compass is something we learn about early on in life even before we can talk. We see and learn from our parents and the people around us. By trying and sometimes failing we learn and grow up as a person who knows what’s right or wrong. Our inner compass is in balance. But what do we do with those who have difficulties to adjust to life. Those who feel like outsiders, have no or a few friends. I think we must let them know that we see and hear them and accept them as they are.
I once attended a lecture about noisy and difficult kids in school. How do we handle them, was the question that was asked. The woman that held the lecture told us about a little boy that had so much trouble in school. He fought with his classmates; screamed in the classroom, always disturbed the peace in the classroom. They tried a different approach on handling the issue. The teacher set aside 15 minutes every day for him and her. He was very reluctant to come to these meeting in the beginning. The trick was to give him 15 minutes of her uninterrupted attention. He tried to get out of it and was just plain angry the first couple of days. After a week the teacher noticed a change in his behavior. He was calmer in class and didn’t run around all the time.
This continued for a few weeks and there were lots of good things happening with and to this little boy. When he was calmer his classmates invited him to play with them. He got more school work done in school and sometimes he fell back in his old behavior. When he got a negative reaction from his friend he stopped this behavior and calmed down. After another few weeks they mutually decided that the 15 minutes every day could change to 5 minutes. Later on his teacher and he decided to have a meeting when either of them needed one.
The lesson learned here was that we all want to bee seen by others. If a person is accustomed to get attention by yelling and arguing. That is what he/she will do to get attention. When we are seen by others we feel good and can focus on other things. I think this is something we all can agree on.
My personal opinion is that we as we get older and probably wiser we have to continue to take part in life around us. Support the younger generation not with (do it like this or do it like that) we have always done it like that… Instead one can talk about alternatives and be open to changes that are for the better. Really listen to what they say and discuss around the issue. After a while they probably will come up with an answer themselves.
Because if we don't care, why should others do??
Not Afraid
"I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road"
// Lyrics by Eminem
Reader Comments (9)
Great story Frida, and so very true!!
A lack of that inner light makes you gloom dark instead of shine bright. Good thing there are people who understand this, like the teacher, who was there for the boy. Good thing he got a guiding light in time!!! We all need that, no one can do it all alone.
I love the picture, and I love lighthouses in general.
Good post Frida, and a lovely image to match it. Well said!!
Yes..yes...yes. I found myself nodding my head throughout. We are a communal and global village..and by taking the time out for one another we help and we heal. So thoughtful...and what a wonderful symbolic image accompanying you words.
A really excellent and well thought out (and expressed) post, Frida. I couldn't agree more with everything you said. It takes a village to raise a child and your example of the little boy and teacher proves this. Well done! Beautiful image, and perfect for this post.
I have already told you that I 'collect' lighthouses, Frida...kinda like I collect windmills. There's something so soulful about them. And symbolic! The way you have woven this post makes your image just that much more soulful to me. That teacher was a lighthouse to that boy, giving light to his path. If each one of us can be a lighthouse to someone else, how wonderful that would be in making our world a better place. We all have to make our own choices throughout life but some of us have better starts. Others need maybe many lighthouses. Thanks for being so thought-provoking and reminding us that it matters how we live our lives!
Very thoughful and thought provoking post - the image illustrates the words perfectly. As my son gets older (he's 17 now), like any young person he continues to grow in independence and to create his own life outside of ours. It's too easy to fall into the trap of being a signpost pointing the way to go instead of a lighthouse guiding him safely on towards his destination.
hi frida, a really good and - as said above - well expressed post that you can't just skip over. i wish more people had this attitude. things are often very different out here (and in some way worse) but the topics and bad stuff is very much the same.
Very thought provoking post; well thought out and communicated.
Our middle grandchild is a little like the boy in your example. We feel like he is going to get the attention he needs -- often times by acting out. So, everyone (the adults) in our family makes a conscious effort to "be a guiding light" to him; spend time making him feel important, listening to HIS needs.
Thank you again for a great post.
Yes, if more people thought the way you do the world would be a much better place. We all need to listen to each other, at any age really, we need to look and listen and accept. And I love that you are quoting Eminem. That made me smile.