Monday
Aug092010
it's all good
August 9, 2010 * * * * * Posted by: Kelly 
Sun and rain. Joy and tears. Moments of clarity, days filled with fog.
Every day, every moment, I am alive, I am here, I am grateful. I am silenced by the depth of life.
What matters most? Breath and blood, food and sleep, love and soul. Which comes first?
I am here. I breathe. That matters most. I live life in tiny increments that feel like eternity. On a good day, I see, really see, the time on the wall that lies before me, ticking. I see it, I feel it, I live it. What else is there? You can't see tomorrow. Oh you try, you wish, you hope, you claim prescience. But tomorrow never comes. Today just can't catch up, ever.
But that's okay. Today is where I am. Today fills me with what it has to offer. Laughter and grief and anger and peace and sadness and joy and frustration and injustice and hope and possibility. Today is my mirror. I see what I want, staring back at me, a reflection of the today I am in, here, now.
I see something there, spinning just beneath the surface. Words.
Not all of my whispers are secrets. Some of them shout their truth across the room. Others cower in the corner, understanding their own unimportance. Not everything spoken is truth, or even a replica of it. Some words are meant to be misunderstood. Some words are meant to deflect, disengage, redistribute. Those words are not mine.
I keep the ones that speak to me, and discard those that do not. I stare at my reflection until the wrinkles become lines in a drawing. Until tomorrow isn't even in the frame. Until breathing is the only thing that matters.
I could look for the sadness, the tears, the regret. It's all there. But my eyes are drawn to the shiny bits, the jewels, the sparkling comprehensions.
I string them on a chain and hang it round my neck.
Beads of hope, baubles of love, adornments to get me past the ugly parts of life.
Smiles.
Reader Comments (13)
Gorgeous meditation on being in the present moment..truly embracing it and appreciating all it has to offer.
Funny how so many of us are writing about this..struggling with it..trying to find meaning and peace within it. It must have something to do with being of this 'certain' age...of sometimes wishing to spinning wheels down and to look and see.
Wonderful pairing of word and image. Thank-you for this!!!
This sounds like one huge mantra, Kelly, that could be chanted every day and synthesized down to "Just Breathe." It's funny how hard it is to concentrate on breathing and to do it deeply and with intention. "Wax on, wax off." I feel like a karate kid. It IS all good...when you screw your head on straight!
You were right: we're two days in a row on the same page. Marcie's right, too: "so many of us are writing about this" (without even calling each other first! :) ).
Beautiful words and image, thank you!
Hey Kelly, that's such a beautiful image that you posted here but I also love the image I get in my mind with those words..."beads of hope, baubles of love"....let's hang on to that.
Today is my mirror.
Wow.
I love how this week turned into a meditation of being present.
xo
K
a necklace made of the "sparkling comprehensions". ah. yes. i want.
so powerful .. soft photo .. lovely post kelly
you are such an inspiration. i love how you put your words together.
So many nuggets and gems that I love about what you've written, Kelly. You are a master at stringing thoughts and words together and taking us along for the ride.
Beautiful. "I keep the ones that speak to me, and discard those that do not." I live by this.
you are always so poetic and prophetic. i love that.
it was once said about karen blixen that 'she regarded her life with the eye of a painter, well aware that the dark shadows in the picture were quite as essential as the light and the bright colours'. your post made me think of that. and i love the image.
I could look for the sadness, the tears, the regret. It’s all there. But my eyes are drawn to the shiny bits, the jewels, the sparkling comprehensions.
I live like this. Thank you for speaking to me.