Friday
Jan282011
Insecurity and Photography
January 28, 2011 * * * * * Posted by: guest blogger 
Insecurity caused me to almost miss selling some of my work.
Last December a friend placed an order for three sets of note cards with photos of my choice from those I took in 2010. In November I started thinking about filling this order. I was unhappy with my recent photos and had fallen into a bit of a photographic slump. This colored my view of the entire year and left me feeling I didn’t have any good images.
I put off making a selection. I put it off some more. I felt discouraged and insecure. At the last minute, I wrote asking if she still wanted the cards. “Yes,” came the reply. I couldn’t get out of it.
I pushed myself to select about 20 images and placed an order for 4x6 prints. Of those, I found 10 that I liked and put them in the card holders. To my surprise, they looked pretty good. Because I had procrastinated, I had to use expedited delivery to get the remaining images and more card holders. I fulfilled my order in a stressful manner and at an embarrassingly late date. But, I filled it and felt better for having done so.
As I look back on my life I see how personal insecurity has prevented me from doing what I love to do, and what I am capable of doing. After college, insecurity—thinking I could never be a great photographer—stopped me from pursuing photography. It wasn’t until I was in my 50s, and had worked on increasing my self-confidence, that I took up photography seriously. Though I will never be a great photographer, I am a good photographer, and derive meaning and joy from this pursuit.
Though I still have attacks of insecurity, they no longer bring me to a complete halt. Making commitments helps me push past insecurity: to post an image on my photo blog every-other day; to enter exhibits; to fulfill an order for photo note cards. Each step forward increases my self-confidence.
The commitment to sell some of my work helped me push past debilitating insecurity into the joy of sharing my view of the world with others.
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Special guest post today by Anita Bower – whose work can be found over at Anita's Photoblog. Thank you for joining us here today, Anita, and for sharing with us your thoughtful story.
Reader Comments (23)
the photo is beautiful, the framing suits it very well
Oh...Anita. I think we can all relate to those feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. And - I think it's true - the only way to gain more confidence is to just do it. It gets better as you go...
You flower photos are among the most beautiful I've ever seen. YOU GO GIRL!!! And - thank you for joining us here today.
Anita, I'll echo what Marcie said. The only people without obvious insecurities are those who personal hubris makes the rest of us recoil.
A person's view of their abilities is a bit like the stock market. Up one day and down the next. Women are particularly prone to this, I think, but we are also really good at supporting and reassuring each other.
You photograph is lovely, and your honesty is brave. Keep doing what makes you happy and turn down the volume on that inner critic. Our troubles start when we compare ourselves to others or to an unrealistic ideal.
Just realized I'm writing this as much to myself as to you, Anita!!
Nice to see you here Anita! I can relate so well to your feelings about being insecure. I'm a bit in a photographic and creative slump myself lately... Love your image! Keep up the good work!
pursuing a dream seems to require learning, practice, and discovery. who starts out at "great?" getting "good" is hard enough! bravo for your honesty and congratulations on your achievements.
Hey Anita, that is such a very pretty image, I'm happy that you shared and happy that you got back into photography!
Well I hope you now know that many view you as one of the finest flower photographers around Anita. Thanks for sharing. Love your work.
Your photo is amazing. Insecurity is a tough hurdle to get past, even after we have achieved some measure of success it can come peeking back out. You just have to fight through it, or ignore it, and sometimes, kicks its annoying little butt.
Anita, thank you for sharing this personal story. I agree with Dan. I love your work and admire your creativity. Pursuing our dreams is important and healthy at any age.
Oh I'm so glad you went ahead. What a gorgeous shot and I'm sure they were thrilled.
What a beautiful image, Anita! I love its delicacy and color. Thanks for sharing so personally -- you always inspire me with the way you face your fears and move toward your heart's desires.
Anita, I can completely relate to this - I almost felt like reading my life story. Your photo is stunning! You are a wonderful photographer. Thank you for your honesty and the courage for sharing your story.
I ponder that I have read this post, Anita, after just meeting our fellow collaborator, Petra, for the first time...and at her photo exhibition today. Both of you are way ahead of me, exhibiting and selling, but I can imagine what the insecurity must feel like. Sometimes simply posting an image on my blog raises incredible insecurity in me...which I know we all relate to. Thanks for being our guest today and being vulnerable. It's what builds connections and honesty. That's what we seem to thrive on here!
I Just went over to your site and i think your Photos are stunning. No reason for insecurity at all. Just today a friend gave me back a book she borrowed from me called 'art and fear'. It deals with the same subject and I learned a lot from it. Thanks for sharing this post with us today.
Oh! For a second I thought I had already written my post ... I so identify with this .... thank you for sharing. In numbers we find strength.
Like so many of the commenters,I could have written your post. I just peeked at your photoblog and now I want to be you when I grow up. What gorgeous photos. I am in awe!
Congratulations on overcoming your insecurity one step at a time. I think it is something we all have to fight to overcome and then it comes back to bite us in the rear again. Thanks you for joining us here at V&V.
Anita - Thanks for including the link for this on your blog. I really enjoyed reading it. Honestly, after drooling over your images for the past couple years I was surprised to read that you've struggled so much with insecurity. But I'm glad you wrote about it, because it's true that so many people deal with it on different levels and let it get in the way of their success. I am glad that you found your calling in life and that you persist on the days when your confidence is lacking! Your images are stunning and inspiring!
I can really relate to what you said %100, we do not have to go out and look for a fight, we beat ourselves up enough. Read a WARM FUZZY TALE!
http://www.emotional-literacy.com/fuzzy.htm
hi there, i can so relate to this...insecurity has rather ruled my life...too many little voices over shoulders saying 'hmmmmmmmm'. but i'm sure i've got more confident as i've got older, or rather accepted what will be and just gone on with it. having a blog, and being part of V&V has really helped with all that!
I have been a fan of your photography for quite some time now. Welcome to the V&V family.
Terrific article written by a most unique photographer whom I have the pleasure of knowing!
Hi Anita. I'm sorry that I haven't commented sooner on your guest post; I've been busy with family (you can read about it here on Thursday).
Hopefully you have moved past your insecurity and have gained the confidence you need to share your BEAUTIFUL work with others. You have moved past being a "good" photographer to being one of the greatest floral photographic artists that I know.
I admire your disciplined approach to creating your art. You pay attention to even the smallest detail. You are an inspiration to many of us.
Thank you for joining us at Vision and Verb and for sharing your beautiful work and personal thoughts.