Silliness
October 21, 2012 * * * * * Posted by: Soosie 
Silliness, frivolity, whimsy, - call it what you will, it is essential to me.
Medically this has not been a good year. I have developed another auto-immune disorder and my partner has had three hospital stays and three operations, with the promise of more to come.
In March after his first operation of the year my partner was sent home to gain some condition before the next operation which was scheduled for June. He was nauseated and found it difficult to eat. He was told that the best thing to combat the nausea was to put something in his stomach. He still couldn't face food. Logic, nagging and cajolery failed. So I resorted to silliness. It worked and he began eating again.
In late June he was discharged from hospital after the operation we had been told would be his last. He was re-admitted three days later when it became obvious that something was very wrong. It was a tense and worrying time for us all. We were exhausted and brain dead. His sister and I shared a brain. A small not entirely functional brain which produced some interesting moments. One morning I wanted a cup of tea. I put the tea-bag in my mug, and added water and milk. I had a sip. Something was wrong. I had another sip. I hadn't boiled the jug. I finished the cup of tea. A little later in the day his sister did the same with a packet cup-of-soup. She also drank it.
Finally it became obvious that the problem was not going away and he was scheduled for more surgery. Surgery which would take him backwards. The night of the operation we came home after our evening visit to the hospital. MS means I don't drive. Like a good passenger I hopped out of the car, and opened the garage. She drove in, and I shut the door. I was wandering up towards the house when I heard a plaintive cry 'Sue, haven't you forgotten something?' 'No, what?' 'Me'. Yes I had shut her in the garage. So I went back and let her out and we reeled up to the house, clutching at each other and giggling. Neither of us are big drinkers, but we began looking forward to a glass of wine each at wine o'clock. Then one of us had a brainwave. We continued to have a glass each (red for me and white for her) but we also shared the glass that the patient would have had if he were home. And a fortnight later we told him firmly that he was drinking a bit much, and needed to cut down as we were now up to two glasses each rather than one and a half. He looked miffed. We laughed.
Where does Walter fit in you may be wondering? In between hospital visits we picked up some books for me to send to my youngest great-nephews in California. I never send them any books I haven't read. In this truly dreadful period his sister and I chortled heartily at the exploits of Walter - reading bits out loud to each other. We went back the next day and bought another from the series. It also brought smiles to the faces of worried women. The pictures are a delight as well. Knowing that towards the end of this year or perhaps early next year my partner is to have another two operations I may go back to the bookshop and buy more books from the Walter series. For me.
Reader Comments (19)
During very stressful times, humour and silliness often provide a welcome respite from all the difficulties one faces. Sometimes it's the only way to cope. Thank you for sharing soosie
Dear Soosie, empathy and sympathy from me during those difficult times. I have been in that similar situation where you do feel brain dead, where whatever you do half of you is still in that hospital, where you do the craziest things without knowing, or caring, where you only sleep with exhaustion, and that reluctantly in case the phone rings and doesn't wake you.
Then the silliness comes into play. Childrens books are thoroughly enjoyable, light hearted, light humoured, easy to understand without concentration, respite from the worry and doubt. You enjoy Walter so go ahead, buy the lot and enjoy. I find the Ogden Nash and Edward Lear nonsense poems and limericks do it for me.
Keep smiling, keep being silly, keep loving - we found our rainbow at the other side of the storm and so I hope will you find yours.
I've heard it said that 'laughter is the best medicine'....and it sounds as if you've found the secret to keeping sane and healthy thru these most difficult of months and years.
Wishing you strength and courage and much laughter and silliness as you find your way to the other side....
I bet now there will be a run on these Walter books, Soosie, in case the rest of us might need them one day! What is it about silliness that works? Silliness, humor, laughter. So much better than the alternative. I checked out your Silliness link at your blog and LOVE how it was so effectual. THAT is what life is all about...knowing how to take adversity and stare it in the face with...a Penguin!
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability...through humor. I wish you and your partner nothing but the best!
Thanks for sharing.
Dealing with doctors and hospitals and most anything medically related can, indeed, leave one 'brain dead.' In my eyes it makes perfect sense to ease the tension with humor -- and a glass of wine (or two). It's great that you have the support of your sister-in-law during all of this. Here's hoping that each day gets a little brighter for your and your partner.
You're such a smart woman to do what you can thru these tough times ... share a couple of glasses of wine, share a brain, share & enjoy the antics of Walter.
I certainly wish all the best for you and yours and that there will be smiles and sunshine in the days ahead.
Sue, thank you for sharing your vulnerability and these hard times with us. Yes, often downright silliness can ease those moments, lighten the tension. Walter is so perfect for this - he has been a favorite in our family. Another silly book is "click clack moo - cows that type", we still quote from that. It's hilarious and brightens the day. I wish you that your days will brighten so much more soon. Sincerely, the cows.
It is said that shared pain means less pain and it's great that you and your partner's sister can support one another in this difficult time. As for the silliness... I followed the link you provided and felt awed, who cares about silliness when it helps to save someone's life? When I feel worried, my husband often says "Let's go and watch some funny film to release the tension a bit" and I usually defy such offer answering that I don't feel like laughing. I start to see why he might be right...
Thank you, Soosie, for this very personal story of yours. I wish you and your partner to be strong.
I have to look more closely at my clocks to see if "wine o'clock" is there.... Lovely idea.
Sending you light and blessings, hoping for healing and better days ahead.
What a great story to share and I can see where the escape into the silly can be wildly therapeutic for you all.
Thank you so much for sharing and good luck with the future ops!
I just love the brain-share, and it resonates. What a marvelous post. Thanks for the smile. I wish you all, including Walter, the best.
Thank you all for your kindness and your geneosity. Silly works for me, but I do know that it doesn't for everyone. My eldest brother find my frivolity about 'serious topics' difficult. How sad, too bad.
I love Nash and Lear, and could add Spike Milligan to the mix
'There are holes in the sky where the rain gets in.
They are ever so small, thats why rain's thin,'
I will keep my eye out for click, clack moo -cows that type as we start the medical mayhem again this week with a day procedure for him. This procedure will dictate future moves.
Thank you all again.
Dear EC, I so remember reading your blog while your partner was in and out the hospital. But I don't remember the garage-door incident! A hoot!
Thanks for telling us about the Walter books. I've been thinking I would give "Officer Buckle and Gloria" to a four-year-old friend of mine for Christmas. But I'll look at the Walter series in the library. My friend is a lively youngster who loves pirates and monsters and has an imagination that far and wee! And a funny bone that makes for much giggling. So perhaps this book would be wonderful to give him. Peace.
Oh, sometimes the best thing to do is laugh, even when things are really getting you down. Comic relief is a beautiful thing, especially when life is not being very kind. And in my book, the same goes for a nice glass of wine!
All the best to all of you as you move through these not so silly times. xo
What a blessing it is to have you in our group! I'm already looking forward to your next post! I too love laughter and silliness and I always bring bags full of both when visiting my parents. My dad has Alzheimer's and my mom is his caregiver and I do my best to bring levity to the situation! It really helps! And yes, a glass or two (or wine) is the best supplement that I'm aware of! Thanks for sharing!
You post is heartwarming and has made me smile. It is good that you have found a way to alleviate such difficult times. I can relate to the half a brain, when things become stressful that is how I am too. Then I think I am losing the plot which makes it worse... I rather like the idea of 'Wine O'Clock'. I think I might have to introduce myself to that one ;-)
It's so wonderful to show us how you get through life - with all of its trials - by smiling at the moment. Thank you!
I am so sorry you are going through so much. It's good that you have your partner's sister for support, a silly sense of humor, and (let's not forget) some wine to help you through. I've heard of "Beer Thirty", but I myself prefer your "Wine O'Clock". With two dogs of my own, I simply must find this book!