Home for the Holidays
November 26, 2012 * * * * * Posted by: Ginnie 
Or, rather, what to do when you’re not!
For those who know me well, it’s not a secret that the hardest American holiday for me to miss while living overseas is Thanksgiving. In fact, it’s harder than all the other ones combined. And as testament to its still non-commercial value, it hasn’t yet hopped over The Pond.
Which is to say there could be a bit of a reprieve if I could pick a restaurant nearby and have some facsimile of the Thanksgiving feast. However, while I have seen hundreds of free-range chickens while out-n-about here in the Netherlands, I have never seen one turkey. I don’t think the Dutch grow them. Besides, if our microwave-sized oven is typical of most, no turkey would fit in it whole.
Dear Astrid has offered each year for us to drive to Amsterdam an hour away to eat the traditional meal at Hard Rock Café. Bless her. But it’s not the same, with the rest of the country working and my own family absent.
So, after resigning myself now for the third year in a row, I resort to the “second blessing”…the memories of years past with good family, good food, good fun and good…FOOTBALL.
Though I paid my dues and did my fair share, I was not one who ever gravitated to the kitchen over the holidays. In later years my mantra was “I’ll do the dishes if you cook!” You’d quicker see me in front of the TV with the men-folk, watching, if I was lucky, the grand finales of the college football season.
Now, skip back to when we were in Atlanta this past September. That’s when grandson Nicholas (my dancing partner) roped Astrid into getting the house rigged up for football action at the beginning of the season.
But here’s the thing….
We make up one heck of a football family! When 3 of the 4 colleges/universities represented are BIG ones, you’re really talking football business. There’s moi, a MICHIGAN grad (U of M, Go Blue). Amy, my firstborn, is a grad of Flagler College in St. Augustine, FL, not what you’d call a football school (said with a straight face). But she married a man who more than makes up for that as a SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA (USC) grad. And son Mark graduated from GEORGIA. Three biggies and all from different conferences, so we can all be happy when each other wins.
Did I mention OREGON? Nope. That’s because it’s still a figment of Nicholas’ imagination right now. It’s HIS favorite football school because…he likes the colors (or so he told Astrid).
Now that you know the important details, you understand why it was hard to be away from the family right now. Did I mention good family, good food, good fun and good…FOOTBALL?
I always flip a switch, of course. The money I would spend on a feast I give to charity. And when I stopped to really think about it, I said to Astrid, “In spite of missing home for the holidays, look at how much I have here with you!” For one, we drove an hour away to Antwerp, Belgium, on Black Friday and spent an overnight there to see the city. How many in my family would have given anything to do that!
And besides, while last year Michigan finally beat Ohio State after a 7-year losing streak, sadly they lost 2 days ago in what must have been a nail-biter, 26-21.
Astrid says, “Sometimes you lose and sometimes you gain.”
And always you have the memories…the second blessings. I truly am thankful!
Family, Thanksgiving, football
Reader Comments (27)
Being away for a traditional family reunion like Thanksgiving has to be quite hard on you Ginnie. No matter how reasonable one wants to be the strings of your heart are being pulled so strong it's painful sometimes. Times like those are the hardest when we're leaving so far from our family.
It must be quite interesting to see all of you cheering together for all those different football teams.
I am quite definitely NOT a football fan - though ours is different to yours. All of my brothers are, and they all support different teams in the different codes which means that most years 'We have a winner!'. I loved the warmth of your family memories and am smiling loudly. Thank you.
I always think of that John Candy film Trains Planes and Automobiles when thanksgiving is around. The determination to get home for what is clearly a very important day for Americans. In droiters we have a statue to Edward Winslow one of the Pilgrim fathers travelling on the Mayflower.
What a beautiful testament to being grateful for everything you have and for the people who are sitting at your table. And - I just love those photos of you and Nicholas. What fun and fond memories!
Having lived away from my home country for so many years I can understand this totally - except for the Football. I have loved living abroad, never wanted to go "home" - except a few days before Christmas. The heavy heart would remain, culminating in tears on Christmas Day, and be gone the next day for another year. We had good Christmasses abroad, we built our own traditions and spent it with our children and good friends, probably had better times than we would have had in England, but that didn't stop the strings of memory tugging. Now we are back in England, I love the Christmas shops but hate the crowds; I love the overdone decorations in homes and gardens but do hardly any myself (not enough space); I love all the Christmas food but it gives me indigestion. I want an old-fashioned family Christmas but my old family is gone or scattered around the country and globe. Now new traditions are being built by my daughter in law, and we are included in her family. But I understand Ginnie - reality never matches memory. So its time to make new memories for our loved ones, wherever we are. Smile and be jolly! Now, where did I put that roasting tray......?
As they say here "Football is not really a matter of life and death. it's much more important than that" I love how you have woven the culture of your family and country into the heart and soul of playing together and screaming for your teams! I grew up in a house full of girls and then raised a house full of boys!! So I have football coming out of my ears now, rugby, soccer, gaelic and hurling too!! Anything that has a ball involved basically. Gorgeous photos of your grandson the exact right company for you and your football passion.
I remember a few earlier Thanksgivings when we didn't make the trip back to Illinois and would be invited to join friends in Kentucky. While the invitation was welcomed and the food delicious, Thanksgiving was never quite the same if one was not surrounded by the love and warmth of family. I can imagine the empty place in your heart on Thanksgiving.
As a child, the men in my family would all take out rabbit hunting after the big meal. During this last visit to Illinois, I asked my brother if he remembered that -- and added that I was always a little jealous that none of the girls were ever included.
Fun pictures of you and Nicholas!!! Makes me smile. :)
Boots, a big hug.
Even here I am homesick ... for those who are gone. Nothing stays the same, losses always come, no matter where we are. But I remember how hard it was to be far away, too far to go home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I'm thinking that if you can find a turkey, maybe you could also find a local commercial oven where they'd let you roast it? There were places in Istanbul like that, where for a small fee you could cook something in their oven.
Wonderful post & images, Ginnie! As Soosie says, it made me smile loudly! We've been away from family for so long now that I have finally stopped feeling sad when Thanksgiving comes around and just accept whatever is happening on each one ... thankful for any meal, any company and knowing that our tradition is just that, different every year. But one thing we can count on is the many football games, usually good ones that can be enjoyed anywhere!
Yes, I'd much rather spend my holidays, Thanksgiving or Christmas or July4th, any of them, with family. Friends are wonderful blessings in our lives, but as so many of you have said here, there is just nothing like being with family.
For the first time in many years my entire family was together for Thanksgiving at the home of my parents this year. It was really wonderful to see everyone! Crowded, food everywhere, and lots of laughter and conversation. I have to say, though, that we are not a football family, so usually some puzzles and board games get played while a few of us try to nap!
Because of my husband's work as a pastor, it is hard for us to get back to see family at Christmas. Deborah usually has her quiet little pitty party, but then it fades away. We have learned to make the best of every day with family...no matter if it's a holiday or not.
Your photos put a big smile on my face.... while not a sports fan myself, I live with a certified sports nut, there is always some game or other going on at least two or three televisions here, my husband and son will even sit outside in freezing weather to watch a game out there in their "man cave"... when they could be inside by the fire... I must admit, I don't get that part.
But I so understand all the friendly rivalries you describe and the cheers and disappointed groans that go along with loving a team.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday as well... and I have grown used to the fact that dinner must be served around football's schedule. There is much to be grateful for, even football. (I say with a straight face) ;)
I loved reading your text and looking at your photos taken of your grandson (oh, he has finely grown up!) and yourself- and I can imagine what you have missed - but I think you have got a wonderful second blessing while going th beautiful Antwerpen - and you have the talent to be thankful for all the beautiful experiences you are enjoying and beholding in your heart, your mind, and in your camera!
Hey Ginnie, if that kid gets to OREGON, let me know...(even though USC let us down this last weekend by not tripping up Notre Dame). I live in Oregon and have family living in Eugene, working at the University, and now, grandchildren attending there.
Although I'm a kitchen woman on Turkey Day I'm surrounded by Oregon and Oregon State graduates who have given us great memories of Civil Wars on this holiday weekend.
These shots of your grandson are so cute - and so familiar to me - having raised two boys and an ex-husband who were crazy for football. They played it, they watched it, they donned their favorite's colors - and little boys SO like to pose and perform. Big boys too. Football was a fixture in our home around Thanksgiving too - in fact all fall - and the sound of it on the television, even now, is one of the sounds of the autumnal season to me. And I really enjoy watching football, second only in my book, to tennis. Sounds like your family is a lot of fun - no wonder you have such fond memories.
Heh, check those dutch sandals. Grandma, the boy is growing up - that is for sure. That is the part I will miss most, but won't need a holiday to be reminded. Anyhow, a lot of your writing is about memories. I posted this today on Elizabeth's photoblog:
"We have just finished assisting my father's move from a large house to a 2-bedroomed retirement living unit. He nearly drove us crazy about all his stuff and what should happen to it. You will not believe how many mementos there were and only one or two made it to the new living quarters. The prep to cleaning out the house, prior to the move took about a year.
I learned one thing - stop stacking! Applying our 'lessons learnt' we have cleaned a few rooms in our own house of 'never to be used anymores'. And just in time - it got so that when my father started lamenting about things that he didn't know what to do with it, our standard answer was - we will take it. The emptier rooms are now overfull, despite many weeks of capacity dustbins.
When we now visit places we enjoy without buying stuff, other than the daily consumables. Even considering the thousands of pictures I have ..."
Which brings me back to your message of the day. Many things are so temporary - yet we set such a lot of store by it. Us whiteys in SA tend to move about our country and of lately, globally as well. Few people die where they are born. A grave won't wear flowers for longer than 10 years. I have noticed in Ireland, that there are graves over 100 years old and they still have fresh flowers.
Sports goes the same route. Isn't it amazing that even Flagler College in St. Augustine, FL, has supporters. Have you ever thought how it must be to support a team that will never make it? And then one day, your unbeatable team just doesn't cut it anymore, for too many years in a row and you realise you are with Amy. Do you understand why she gravitates to the kitchen during Thanksgiving.
In short - life is about ups and downs and the best part of it is the memories. Afterwards you can choose to remember the good parts.
I'm glad that you and Astrid had a wonderful weekend in spite of Michigan losing and a lack of a traditional Thanksgiving - you certainly got the important parts right ... being thankful for the many blessings that the Universe has seen fit to bestow upon the both of you!
Love and hugs to you both!
I grew up in a family with a few traditions. My Grandmother was from East-Germany, so we celebrated Weinachtsabond, the 24th of December with a big meal. We always had to dress up and be quiet. During the year, each Sunday we would go, either to my moms parents or to my dads parents. When I was 15 years old, I got the opportunity to go skiing. I loved it, no responsibilities of family. No remarks that I had to sit up straight.
The next years I made sure I was gone over Christmas and new Year. Did I run from my responsibilities, maybe.
In this way I always have been different.
Later, I made sure that my mom was with us for Christmas and we made a joyful feast of it.
Sometimes I am jealous when I hear that families of more than 20 members, come together and eat in harmony. But then I don't know what I miss.
Indeed sometimes you gain and sometimes you loose. We had a great trip to Antwerp.
I know I can never make up for Thanksgiving, but we sure are enjoying those other 364 days out of a year.
A wonderful post and we had so much fun making those banners and the Football games.
You're so wise. You enjoy your memories, while you are making grand new ones for Thanksgiving. That's what it's all about.
i always like to spend special holidays with my family too, although that seems to get more an more complicated each. But it sounds like you had a wonderful time anyway :-)
As someone who is living far far away from her own country, I can understand your feelings so well, Ginnie. The holiday I miss the most is Christmas, or let's say the Christmas season. I miss the Christmas markets in the heart of medieval towns with wonderful food, Gluehwein and big gingerbread hearts. I miss our German Christmas carols. I miss the church bells on Christmas Eve. Christmas concerts - in all the years I have lived here, Bach's "Christmas Oratorio" wasn't performed even once. Today, when I went to our little neighborhood market, I heard "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" - give me a break!
We have fully embraced Thanksgiving, it has become my favorite holiday (because it is non-commercial; although you wonder, now that the "big sales" already start on Thanksgiving). For years we have been celebrating with friends and we have established our traditions there - I bring the Tiramisu and the red cabbage, there is an oven roasted turkey and a bbq'ed one and, of course, there are "gravy wars" - and it is ALWAYS a beautiful get together for this special German-American Thanksgiving.
No football, though. Football to me still is Fussball which is called soccer here (btw, that's something else I miss, the cheering for the German national team during the World Cup). However, my daughter, 14 now and a freshman, has embraced a big part of the social environment at high school including the football games. However, she passed the home coming dance...
Am also away from my family as you know, it's hard and at certain times (like now, when my father's brother has just passed away...he was 86!) I wish I was there; times like this and I feel very far away. But I'm going home Jan or Feb, will set a date soon!!! :)
Ginnie, I can't imagine that the Thanksgiving Day would be commercialized in Europe. It's not just about family gathering, right, it's connected with the American history. Moreover, I'm afraid the concept of "thanks giving" might not be that popular here. There is Christmas to express these needs and feelings, no need of a new tradition. Sounds harsh but you have to understand that not everything American is heartily welcome here.
I've never eaten roasted turkey and know it just as a symbol of the Thanksgiving tradition but turkey hen meat is quite popular here. As for the chickens, their meat is VERY popular and I myself cook it often.
The Nicholas' photo on the left triggered my memory and I had to smile. Once we visited my mother and while strolling in a park, my son found a broken off branch in the shape of a trident, it was as high as he was. He wanted me to take a few shots, wearing an expression so similar to the Nicholas' one. I didn't like that at that time and might have deleted them later but now I understand so much better! :)
Sorry to be late to the Thanksgiving party! But, what immediately came to mind when I read your post and saw your compilation of photos is how important photography is for capturing those moments! Precious!
No turkey?! Some people have Cornish Game Hens instead because they don't like turkey. You can have your own individual mini turkey. =D
I'm sorry that you miss spending Thanksgiving with your family. However, you and Astrid are making the most of a wonderful experience without the traditional Thanksgiving trappings. And as an aside, I too love American football. I love it that you love it too!