I’ve been thinking a lot lately…there’s this feeling of something happening under the surface that I can’t quite name…pregnant with anticipation…ready to let go, set free; but don’t have any idea what it could be…a new story waiting to be discovered…uncertainty…or, perhaps it’s simply all of life.
Today, I had two very specific thoughts that came back again and again…everything is spiritual and my life is a work of magic. Writing this post, I stop and rest my chin in my fisted hands…everything that has happened in the past year…everything in my life that has led up to this one particular moment in time.
Pithy, succinct, getting to the heart of the matter, spot on, be careful what you ask for…gratitude, awe, curiosity, wonder. Love…there it is…understanding…here you go…working together with a common goal…orders up…being seen and heard…could only happen this way…partner and son not reconciled…reconciliation happens…dad’s house on the market for a year…what?...house sells…in debt…out of debt…
Do you get a sense of what I’m talking about here? Another thought I had today was…”I’m in shock”. There you have it. Everything that is important to me and I have been asking for has, one by one, found resolution and allowed me to have less stress and therefore, opened up more windows in the home of my life. And I feel this enormous sense of understanding and awe and allowing and sense of deserving and also keenly mindful of how important it is…this time in my life…this time in my life is right here and now and I wish to acknowledge the purity of it and at the same time greet each understanding and experience with that sense of wonder and then…set it free…unbounded…unattached…unconditional loving of this life that is so full of grace.
You know that feeling when you’re standing under a wonderful temperature-perfect shower, head tilted back, allowing the water to run down, wetting your hair before you put the shampoo in…you raise both your hands and run fingers through the beginning-to-be-wet hair and feel that sense of ahhh….
May you all…whether for a moment or an hour or a day or perhaps even for the rest of your life…know this sense of presence and place and wonderment and satisfaction and joy and pure contentment.
I believe this is real love.
As Elizabeth Gilbert says in “Eat, Pray, Love”, “What if you could somehow create an expansive enough life that you could synchronize seemingly incongruous opposites into a worldview that excludes nothing?”