River of Life
June 15, 2012 
Sometimes I have a feeling that my life is not in my hands. I have to do what other person wants me to do, I have to wait for someone to make a step in order to make my step, I have to listen even if I don't want to... Sometimes I feel like I've been pushed from one corner to another and sometimes I hear things about me that I don't recognize or believe they are true. How strange...
I wish my 'flow' of life would be smoother. I would like to be carefree, enjoying in the moment, letting go - not holding to the people and situations that get on my way. Sometimes I wonder who puts all those rocks and stones into my stream of life. Do I do it myself? Or are they there - it's just that I need to find a way to pass them by, without any bruises? Or this is how it is supposed to be - a rocky stream with all those waterfalls and rapids??
I don't need strong impulses and adrenaline to get me excited and to love life. I prefer calm flow, near beautiful scenery, with people who choose what they love about my river of life.
But the last few months my river was everything else but calm.
It feels like people are (ab)using it for their own selfish reasons - digging into it, throwing rocks in it whenever and wherever they want, forcing the river to change a direction... without any planning, strategy, without looking at the whole picture, its potentials, and then decide what this river really is about and what it needs.
Strange, as I thought life gets smoother over the years. But today I feel like I'm trying to find a new stream for my life.
I'm tired from the fight to stay calm and in the stream. I want to let go and flood my waters over the borders to set them free. But I don't have a heart to cause the people pain. What to do, what to do? After all, this is my river of life, my life...
What do you do with your river of life? How do you handle it?
Reader Comments (12)
No choice but to go with the flow. The smoothest and easiest path is to simply run with the rushing waters...knowing that they'll ultimately lead to calmer ones. What a wonderful metaphor for the bumpy times in life.
Just as there are "irregular" people who come into our lives from time to time, totally upsetting the apple cart, I truly believe "irregular" situations arise that seem to control us for a season. And for a reason? I don't know. I, too, love the metaphor and can only assume the "flow" will indeed bring us all to calmer waters...eventually. Hang in there and don't give up hope!
What a perfectly amazing image to go with your heartfelt post, I feel these words so deeply. The thing that helps me to keep my ride thru life smooth is to spend as much time as possible in quiet, in nature, with books, with art. I've just been able to do this more recently and I truly think of it as a survival mode and wish I could have done it sooner, some of us just need to accept that we are loners. I'm around people each and every day but now I know how to keep myself out of the push and pull of others ideas and notions, you know what I mean? I wish this for you, as well.
Love this post! This image is going to stay in my mind today, thanks to the message you have placed with it.
I wonder, if not for all those rocks and stones that get in the way, how would we know the beauty of calm, peaceful, serene flowing waters?
For me, it is very easy to be so distracted by all that comes along in my river of life. Yesterday in my journal I wrote repeatedly, "I Am Here." It has become a mantra, reminding me that all that other stuff flows around me, but I'm only able to be one place at a time, only able to be who I really am and not what they all expect (or what I think they expect).
Tough waters to navigate. May you find peace and calm....
I have spent a lot of time on rivers. One thing for sure...when I am trying to navigate I am sometimes knocked from the path of easy flow and find myself fighting to move forward or even to stay afloat. Even if I am not capsized (in which case I must hold on for dear life), I must still work hard to find the natural path of the current. Once I work my way back to it, it is simple to dip an oar in here and there and ride the waves.
I hope you can find the easy flow again, Jozica. I have found that it usually doesn't have to do with others as much as it has to do with my own position in the stream.
Blessings on you.
Jozica, the symbolism here is just incredible! What do I do with my river of life? After so many years of corporate structure, just going with the flow and letting the Universe guide me is my new mantra! Wonderful, wonderful post!! And may you find peace and calm as well, we're here for you!
What do I do? I remember that rocks are part of the river. Without their presence, there would be no burbling sounds, no hiss of waters, no havens for creatures, no dry-footed way across.
A river in flood buries the rocks. A river in drought shows them all. To my taste, water and rock, suspended soil, tree-edged banks and barely-glimpsed striders belong together. I've heard Lake Placid is beautiful, but I'll take the bruises and bumps that go with a fast-running stream.
Normally I can control the flow when I am in control of my own life, despite the waves that try and knock me of balance.
If a significant person is causing those waves, it is more difficult to navigate the waves. The last few months have have not bee wave free for me...
i have come to this post later than usual and with many who have read it and echoed what i would have said from going with the flow to adjusting one's position in the river. i love water. using the river to think about life is a great way to imagine so much of what we experience. at any and all ages.
water is beautiful and dangerous...like life! may your ride be on gentle waters for a long while. thanks for the great post.
beautiful post. I say go with the flow
I love Susan's comment. I do believe being able to create moments of empty space is essential to get through rough waters. I too thought this age, this part of my life would be a calm time, a time to relax and not "strive". But it hasn't been that at all. Sometimes that makes me feel cheated and angry, other times I'm able to accept it and enjoy life as it is. I am always striving for the latter outlook. But that's not to say you should let anyone run over you. Take good care of yourself. No one else will do that job as well as you can.
And not to try and advertise my blog here, but my recent post was about the float I did on an inflatable swan with friends, which was peaceful and calm until we tried to get off the river. Your metaphor kind of reminds me of the ups and downs of that experience.
It is difficult... and we aren't always in complete control of what goes on around us. Sometimes, to get what you need, you have to be a little selfish. I think that is especially hard for women, we are taught to give and sacrifice and nurture others, but not always ourselves. And I think it is impossible for life to flow smoothly all the time, there are times of change and times calm and everything in between. Sometimes those times spans spent scrambling in the rapids teach us great things about ourselves... wishing that you find calmer waters soon.