All Geared Up
August 13, 2012 * * * * * Posted by: Ginnie 
All geared up and ready to go!
As we speak, Astrid and I are packing for our annual trip westward over the Big Pond next week. We’ll land first in Michigan for my favorite nephew’s wedding on The Farm, after which we’ll fly to Atlanta to be with my kids, grandson and friends the following 2 weeks.
Without belaboring the point, some of you know my conservative, fundamentalist, Christian, preacher-father family history. However, in the same kind of way I usually do NOT like to use the gay/lesbian/homosexual words to describe myself, I do NOT like calling myself a Christian, even though I mostly am. I just don’t like the negative definitions and interpretations that have nothing to do with either. I’m a lesbian, but…not like that. I’m a Christian, but…not like that. And no, it’s not an oxymoron.
Which brings me to dancing at the wedding. Astrid and I have a daily practice of dancing which is very important to us both. However, knowing this could be a touchy situation for many in the family (for whom dancing is still relatively new), I wrote Peter to ask his honest druthers about our dancing at his wedding. This isn’t about us but about him, I said. Luckily, he generously replied that he and Andrea would be offended if we didn’t! In fact, her sister will be bringing her girlfriend and plan to dance the night away.
Did I mention this will be the first time most of my extended family will finally meet Astrid (after our 5 years of knowing each other this month)?! Astrid takes it all in stride. She doesn’t care if they like and accept her or not. She is who she is, she says. Take it or leave it.
I wish I could be so…tame.
Which brings me to the absentee ballot I’ll fill out in Atlanta for the November election. Who do you think will quicker facilitate Astrid moving back to America with me as my wife?! As she prepares to retire in the next couple of years, her Euro and my dollar will both go much farther there. I’d like to think we’ll have that choice once the time comes, even if we decide not to do it.
I want the possibility. The option. Without having to ask. For all of it…the dancing, the moving. I don’t really ask for much, do I? To be honest, I wish I wasn’t even having this conversation! Do you get as sick and tired of it as I do?
What is it they say to never talk about in a public forum like this: sex, religion and politics?! Okay, then. You didn’t hear any of this from me.
It’s time. Time for a lot of things. Time for change? But for right now, we really are all geared up and ready to go, which is so much better than the alternative, all dressed up and nowhere to go, don’t you think?
Wish us peace. Wish us shalom. Life is short (tick tock). Life is good. We keep believing all things!
Reader Comments (33)
It was very sweet of you to say it was up to your nephew as it was his day. But all your worry and concern and they would be offended if you didn't dance. I just love it! Enjoy and "shake and boogie". :)
hmmm, i thought it was all legal everywhere now, i think it is in Canada, why don't you guys move here :) and i'm not sure the word 'fundamentalist Christian' is the right word to describe people that say 'God hates fags'... i think hateful would be a more appropriate word to describe them... i think people like ME are fundamentalist Christians because i have very few fundamental beliefs like "Jesus is God" "God is love'... i'm also a universalist Christian, and i don't believe in hell... so i don't have any 'us' and 'them' beliefs to speak of... so there's not much of a need for labels is there? if you're a REAL fundamentalist Christian hahaha...
After reading this post, I am sitting here wondering where to start. In 1975 I lived in the USA for 12 months, in a Mennonite community. Being a Mennonite myself, I could not believe the things I heard, here I was 21 years old. Back home (in Holland) I organised dance evenings on Saturday nights for our Mennonite youth group. We asked local politicians to talk about their view of life. We rented movies and had discussions afterwords. And we would always make sure that we would be in church by 10 AM the next day.
Okay, back to the USA.....I found out that we were not allowed to dance, to watch movies, some even did not watch TV.
My vision is, live and let live. Respect. We are all God's children. At least that is in the bible.
I think we live in the 'modern age', and in my opinion, some still live in the stone-age..
We will have a great time at the wedding and it will be great to meet your family.
I don't follow any religion, I prefer the idea that God will forgive me because that's his job. It never fails to amaze me that so called religious people think that their god, who created everything and knows everything, gives a rat's tiny little ass if two women dance together. i hope you have a wonderful trip and dance the night away. .....I can't dance to save my life
Just dance..and dance..and dance some more! Celebrate the beauty and joy and love...and have a FABULOUS trip. (I'd write more..but I'm writing from my phone)!
I just can say excellent writing and wish you both the best time; wish also most people would have a clear mind and hart as you do :)
Have a wonderful time and dance until your feet hurt. And then dance some more. I do not judge people by their sexuality or by their religion (or lack there of). A caring and open person can be accepted anywhere - except in places they probably wouldn't want to go anyhow.
PS: I loved your care for your nephew and 'his' day, and I loved his response.
The wedding sounds like fun and I can just imagine you and Astrid on the dance floor. And, I hope your visit with family and friends is fun as well. Remember...if you have an opening in your schedule, Chattanooga is about 2 hours from Atlanta and 2 hours from Nashville. Lunch in Chattanooga? I'll buy!!!
My eyes are full of tears for many reasons. One reason is what I remembered when you brought up the election, and I felt goosebumps; yes, isn't that what this is about? Freedom? Whose freedom? (Some want to regulate those who would abuse our investments; others want to regulate who we can dance with.) So what I remembered was my friend Karl saying that if he and Lloyd could finally get married in Massachusetts or somewhere where it's legal, then when they would fly over the country to visit family, and looking out the plane, they would say, "here we are married, here we are not married, here we are married, here not ..." as they pass over borders of states. How ridiculous. How shameful.
I rejoice that you live in the Netherlands, even though you are so far away. This country is a very odd and unique mix of extremes, and I am sorry to see how powerful some of those extremists have become in the political voice.
So soon you will be here! I hope you will also dance with Peter ... and with Andrea. :-)
Bon voyage! I like Astrid's point of view: take it or leave it.
Come to Texas, darlin'! Or Louisiana, for all that. When the music starts and someone wants to dance, it doesn't make any difference who gets grabbed as a partner. Women and girls always are dancing together, either because they don't have a partner or because their partner's flat wore out.
As for the rest of it, "...but not like THAT" says it all. We live in a world where the extremes (and extremely offensive) in every community get held up as representative, mostly because they make a good 30 second sound bite, and self-proclaimed "leaders" are allowed to define what it means to be (black, Christian, gay, lesbian, migrant, conservative, liberal, etc.....) How many times have I heard, "I don't want anything to do with Christians. They believe X..."
when in fact the church teaches no such thing. In the same vein, there was the marvelous day I was at lunch and listened to a woman going on about how she never would want a gay person as a friend, because you know how "they" are - and all the time she was sitting right across from a co-worker she liked, who happened to be gay. ;)
Gosh, what a world. Go, have fun, and dance. I presume there won't be anyone telling you that you can't dance "like THAT"!
I just want to wish you peace, shalom, safe travel, and just have a wonderful time!
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all focused on how to love one another (like that Good Book teaches) rather than being so full of fear and hate?
Your nephew sounds like a wonderful human being, Ginnie, and shows us what the true face of Christianity should look like. It is so disheartening to see so many folk who call themselves Christians cling to their fears and ignorance in the mistaken view that they are following God's word. Hopefully, their numbers will decline as your country moves ahead and more & more States move to recognize and uphold the legal rights of ALL their citizens.
Wishing you and Astrid a fantastic trip and loads of fun with the family & friends.
Bravo on this post! For me the bottom line is what's inside the person...regardless of their sexual preference, their status in life or their religious/political views. Good on you Ginnie for sharing your thoughts...so many people don't.
Hope you enjoy yourselves! Great image and post.
Ginnie, I wish you a wonderful trip and a wonderful time with your family. Families love each other and I think you can trust in that they won't judge you. Two women dancing? I believe that most people are worry about a lot more than that:) I'd be more worried about people judging me on how well I can keep the beat! LOL! In any case, I believe that love and respect for something you'll find that most people do...no matter where they are or in what country they live in. If you and Astrid come to the states, I don't believe you'll be treated any differently. As far as labeling yourself - I never bother. Most people don't identify themselves by their sexual preference, I know it's easy for me to say, since I'm the "norm." If only they knew how abnormal I am:) I think that's the real point. We all got somethin' going on. Your family sounds like they are loving and respectful of you and Astrid. Just be you, your loving, fun, animated self. I think that's how most people would judge you, not by your sexual preference.
Take that from someone who "labels" herself a Christian.
Peace, shalom, and dancing! Yes! It does seem like we should be well past this conversation. And I'm sorry that we are not. But I am glad for you that acceptance is coming from your family, and hopefully, soon, progress will be made in other areas of this country. About this, and many other things. I hope you have a most wonderful trip!
I sure love the image that you used here and I love Peter and his bride to be, what a wonderful start in their marriage to have you two showing up and showing them how it's done on the dance floor and in life! Can't wait to see the photos from this adventure ... say "hey" to Hotlanta for me!
Bless your wonderful nephew!!! So not everybody in your family is super conservative...
I wish you and Astrid the best of times, dance together whenever you feel like it I like what Astrid wrote - live and let live. Respect. It comes down to that.
Ginnie, I can't wait to read about your experience here - until then, safe travels, my friend, and peace.
Well, with Romney having picked some kind of proto-fascist as his running mate, I guess you've got to hope that Obama gets a second term. Where DO these crazies come from!?
I will be thinking about you both when you are away Ginnie. I love Astrid's attitude. If any of your family don't like her I think that will be their problem not hers. And as for putting labels on people...grrr!
i see that i am late to the dance.
what is left to say?
i never thought i would live to see an african-american president, read the sunday "nytimes" "style" section and enjoy same sex marriages, and see the lame "don't ask..." dissolved. so....dance, sit, run, jump....things are looking hopeful. after all, my son, a white, jewish bar mitzvah boy, sat in a hut with a beaded crown and a scepter next to his beautiful wife, for their african ceremony this summer in uganda. kids get it. they are leading the way....let's all dance in their path!
shalom!
I know the feeling about family gatherings. You want to not care and I don't with my own family but now have my boyfriend's to worry about. My son may be coming for Christmas. Now this is funny, I wouldn't worry if he was stereotypically gay - well dressed and neat. But he may wear a woman's blouse or he may come in torn dirty rags. Who knows. And I just want to scream, "See the person beyond the clothing!" its always a tightrope of asking him to be "normal" or let people deal with their own hang ups.
You guys will be fine at the wedding but now I'm wondering if in the places where marriage is legal like NY, does that help with Astrid being able to move there?
I DO wish you peace. I DO wish you, and all of us, the possibilities and the options. So beautifully said. And so glad you'll be dancing. We all deserve to dance through life's summer evenings.
Bon Voyage. Your nephew sounds wonderful. No wonder he's a favorite.
As you know, I share your religious-family background. I have found most to be much more welcoming to my lesbian daughter and her partner than I could have dreamed many years ago. However, like you I would like to see full acceptance for who we are and what we can become. I'm still thinking that our president is our best bet. (Hmm...you didn't ask for opinions, did you:)
Have a wonderful visit. I hope that this time opens your horizons further. It's always wonderful to have choices.