Music Appreciation
August 6, 2012 
I am not a musician.
I love music and as a child I wanted to excel at the piano, but my teacher was strict and I hated to practice. And didn't have my sisters' facility of playing the piano by ear.
We didn't have a guitar, just a ukelele which I strummed atonally as I searched painstakingly for the next chord. Primarily, I used the uke to irritate my older sister when she brought home a date.
So my instrument of choice was the violin, which I played the longest and with worst results. I could never have been called a violinist.
I'm a fan of classical music and so I have heard many violinists. From the lawn at our summer music festival I've seen these young women as they play like angels and look like willow trees caught in the wind. Their bodies bend and twist; their arms firmly and gracefully holding their highly polished instruments and their perfectly rosined bows as they send mellow notes into the air.
When the orchestra plays at these concerts I can lie down on my back and watch the stars, letting the music pour over me. When the soloist plays, I'm alert and captivated.
It takes me back to my childhood dreams. I must have had violin lessons because I became one of the scraggly adolescents waiting expectantly to be a part of grand music. It does sound grand to say, "Yes, I played in the high school orchestra."
However, we weren't good. I remember the excitement in Mr. Wendt's voice when the violin section drew their bows across the strings in unison. I wasn't really sure what he was talking about and didn't recognize the phenomenon until I noticed it in a professional orchestra years later. I didn't get the concept of "chairs" either. I liked sitting in the back row...less attention that way.
I don't think there are any pictures of me with my violin. Maybe in the school annual where hordes of hopeful musicians and browbeaten sons and daughters are captured in a grainy black and white photo.
But I have the mental pictures. A black full skirt and a crumpled white blouse (with shirttail hanging out) and a pony tail which would no longer be smooth by last period when the photo was taken. I would look a little frightened because I wasn't sure how I was supposed to pose.
It took years to realize that when family members asked me to play a violin solo they were entertained by my face which I twisted in my attempts to reach the proper notes. Those squawking strings may have always been a bit out of tune at home. No one (least of all me) closed their eyes in ecstasy.
I'm reminiscing because I know that history dies with the oldest generation. When some future descendant coerces a child into playing an instrument by citing the musical background in the family, it should be remembered that listening to music may be our best tradition.
I don't mean to minimize the talents of a few gifted grandchildren. One granddaughter (who, by the way, isn't in the genetic line) continues to play and sing with great success. Another plays the guitar and writes songs. Others have played successfully and have eventually followed my no-practice example. And I'm not sure what happened to that "playing by ear" gift. Perhaps no one has unwrapped it.
As for me, I'm content to be a listener.
xxoo
Reader Comments (16)
Me too - I had years and years of piano lessons..and then clarinet ones when I was a kid. And - without much innate talent. Now - as an adult - I've simply learned to listen and enjoy. It's a beautiful thing!
I LOVE the way you have written this, Mother, in spite of all the self-deprecation. Maybe it's that I can relate! HA! I SHOULD have learned to play the piano becauase my mother was so accomplished and would have been a "free" teacher. Only one of us 8 kids actually followed in her footsteps. Like Marcie, I tried to play the clarinet in school, when I was in 5th and 6th grades. It obviously didn't leave a big enough impression to continue on.
Maybe those of us who tried appreciate great music all that much more? I don't know, but I am defintely content to be a listener. And I do also love your image!
Oh how I could relate to this post! When I was a child I took ten years (yes - 10!) of piano. It wasn't for me. So I'm a listener and I let the talented ones play!
We musicians are happy there are listeners! ;) Listeners are much needed and valued!
Love the way you have written this post. Mother!
I love what you shared here, Mother. I can see a bit of myself there, but trying to be the piano player that my sister and brother have always been. Practice? Yuk. Never really liked doing that, so it's no wonder I did not excel at it. I sure can appreciate it when I hear good music...in any form.
You have nicely emphasized that art of listening. An art that we all need to pursue.
Mother, so cool how you did this image! I'm with you, just a true lover of music and appreciate the ones who make it.
I love music, but I don't have the patience and talent to become a musician, so I am a listener too, although I love to sing along. Its just that others don't like me to do that in their presence.
Love the post.
without an audience, there is only a solo in the purest sense of the word. thank you for reminding us all just how important we are to the musician no matter how talented she may be!
Oh, I love this post, Mother. I actually wanted to learn how to play the piano as a child, but my parents wouldn't let me - their excuse was that we lived in an appartment and the piano would be too loud. Ahem. However, I don't think I would have been any good. Later I turned to singing because that is actually the only thing in music I'm really good at (and listening). For years and years I sang in choirs and enjoyed it so very much.
i grew up in a very musical family, we all played - my choice was the piano, and i got very good at it. stopped playing for 20 years, only started again 2 years ago but that's another story :). my fiance's children don't play, not a note on any instrument. i think that is really sad and it does seem that more and more this is the case nowadays. i will always thank my parents for a very musical - particularly classical - upbringing. i would do the same if i had children.
My husband, kids-all musicians. Me? Not so much. I am also an appreciator:) Lovely post.
Oh, this made me smile... I decided a few years back, to attempt to learn the violin. I did okay up to a point, but I was never able to get the vibratto technique, and after a while, I just gave up. Sometimes I wish that I had stuck with it, but there is only so much time in this life and I guess I missed that particular boat. So yes, like you, I am content to be a listener. And there is certainly nothing wrong with that!
You can never coerce someone into playing or singing, it has to come from the heart and gentle nurturing. I played recorder, clarinette and bamboo pipe (which I made myself). I love to listen to string music, in particular string quartets - it is the music of my soul. But I don't think I would enjoy playing those instruments.
What a lovely post. I was a clarinetist myself. I began in third grade, and by the time my poor parents had suffered through a couple of years, I was at least not squeeking and squawking. I played through high school, in band and orchestra, and somehow landed in the world or recitals and All-State Band. I entered college with the intention of being a music major, but eventually figured out I liked playing far more than theory classes. I understand now that my math aversion probably played a role.
In any event, it became clear that the only way I'd ever make a living through music was to be a school band or orchestra teacher, and I surely didn't want to do that. I didn't want to practice hard enough to try for a job with an orchestra, either, so it was off to other things.
Eventually, I turned to guitar, and then found myself doing some singing. That was fun. Now, my favorite music times involve an open road, rolled down windows and some good road music. I'm an appreciator now. There's a time for everything, as Ecclesiastes says, and this is my time to listen.
I WAS a musician and wish I would have found the time to keep that skill up all these years. Alas, one has to pick and choose what to focus on and most of my enjoyment of playing came from performing. Without a way to do that, it doesn't seem worth the effort. So music appreciators are much appreciated by musicians. And I still do play piano once in awhile to relax after a stress filled day.
Thanks for all of your remarks and support. Music is such a rewarding part of life...whether playing for one's own enjoyment, performing, or listening. It's another thing we share.