Buffalo and Bird
September 16, 2012 * * * * * Posted by: guest blogger 
Over in the fallow field, near the newly sprouted rice, I see a solitary tethered mature aged buffalo cow. She is some distance from me, though when I observe her through the 400mm lens on my Canon I can see she is not alone but engaged in an intimate act with a Common Myna bird.
As I watch, voyeuristically, the bird dances down from its perch on the bony crest between the cow's horns to the tip of her muzzle; her eyes pinch shut from the ecstasy of sensations as the bird reaches into the cow's nostril and satisfies its thirst, but she makes no attempt to shake it off.
It’s strangely thrilling to watch this act. I begin to think about the relationship of these two unlikely companions, and wonder if there is something akin to affection, perhaps even love, between them.
She weighs 800kilograms while he is barely 60 grams; she has fur…he feathers; she bawls…he screeches; she's captive…he's as free as a…well…bird…
You get the message…they seem to have so many contextual challenges! Yet, I sense something bonds each to the other. I witness performance of routine and random acts of kindness between two individuals and believe this has to fit the definition of, at least, affection. There's a comfortable sense of trust and familiarity between the two, and I imagine the evening conversation:
Micky: Well, I'm off to roost in that tree over there but, in the morning, I'll be back to clean the ticks out of your right ear.
Clara: Tomorrow I'll make sure we get a grassy spot where I can scare a few hoppers and grubs out for your lunch…Bye Bye.
My situation is not so different. After a lifecycle in Australia I have relocated to Thailand on my own, and have embarked on a second lifecycle. I have a companion who presents our relationship with many challenges…age difference of 30 years; I have no religion while She is deeply Buddhist; culturally, I am Australian larrikan while She is traditional Eastern; I speak English while the English I have taught Her is merely her 3rd language; I have "education" while She is self-taught; I am constantly curious about all things while She is accepting of all things but curious about few...
But…it works! We have a home. We laugh and romp and have fun. We have a common "project" aka "child", who challenges, delights and frustrates in approximately equal measure. We have shared plans and aspirations.
Do we have love? I don't know…but, we certainly have affection, and it seems to grow and multiply through the routine and random acts of kindness that we constantly seek to perform for each other.
Perhaps my gradual conversion to Eastern thinking is allowing me to see the importance of little things, or perhaps it has more to do with the luxury I have in being able to fit two lifecycles into my one Life and to carry lessons from the first into the second.
I feel we are a bit like the buffalo and the bird, and Life is good!
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Our very special guest today is Ray Storey, an Australian now living his second lifetime in Bangkok, Thailand. You can find him over at Thaivillage where you can really get your education on everything Thai. Thank you, Ray, for joining us today at V&V.
Reader Comments (24)
I smiled throughout, and love your final sentence. Thank you. This is a post which I will think about for some time to come.
Dear Ray - this is a very touching piece of writing. It's amazing to see the relationships between animals, species and humans. I was watching two dogs today - a large pit bull mix and a little white fluffy thing. The fluffy thing bounced and jumped and licked and bit and yapped and... all the while the pit bull just wagged his tail and tolerated the antics of the youngster. In your relationship perhaps you are the fluffy thing (curious and excitable) and Na is the pit bull (accepting and calm). I understand why opposites attract- we can see in the other traits we wish we possessed, or that are fascinating at any rate. But the initial attraction has no staying power unless there is genuine concern and kindness between any two. Staying with my husband for 23 years has been easy... he doesn't speak of "if" my mother comes to live with us, but "when". He never speaks of "his" home, or "his" life, everything is "ours". It is ALL about kindness and concern. He brings me cookies from my favorite bakery every week. And I try to reciprocate these "routine and random acts of kindness". And this IS love. What you have, dude, IS love! Thanks for putting it into writing so very eloquently for us today! :-)
Strewth Ray, you saying Na is a buffalo? Seriously mate this is a very touching story. I think you have been learning what is really important in life.
I have the impulse to laugh and cry and ooh and aah over everything you have written here, Ray. I am one of the lucky ones who has been inspired by your photography for YEARS and have followed your story/life with immense interest. As Elizabeth has laready said, most of us would call what you have LOVE! And you of all people could teach the world how to accept each other! It's called LOVE THY NEIGHBOR!
Thank you for saying YES to being our guest today and for sharing this intimate story so eloquently!
This somehow brought tears to my eyes. Such a beautiful testament to second chances..and new beginnings...and that all things are possible - in spite of geographic..age and spiritual beliefs and differences. A true inspiration!!
And - I have to agree with the others. What you've found - for sure - is love!!!
Thank-you once again for visiting us today. A never -ending well and source of delight!!!
Fabulous picture with this wonderful story. Not everybody get the chance of another lifecycle and it takes two, to make that work.
"Do we have love? I don't know…but, we certainly have affection, and it seems to grow and multiply through the routine and random acts of kindness that we constantly seek to perform for each other".
Ray, in my eyes that IS love. Respect towards each other. Do nice things for each other. Accepting and communication.
The pictures you post on Shutterchance are amazing and wonderful. A lot of times I get my education about Thailand. It shows you are at the right place to be. And Ray.......... Boy will keep you young ;)
I love that you have fitted two life cycles into one. My Dad loved two women intensely. First my mother and then my Stepmother who I have known so much longer. I loved hearing the eulogy at his funeral, given by my husband who said how lucky in love he was, and acknowledging both loves. I wish people would celebrate more their true loves no matter what order, or size or shape they come in, what a joy to hear your wonderful story!
Quite a moving story. I am very touched by your words!
Great post and amazing photo!
I have always had a tough time recognizing and naming love. It wasn't a word ever used by my parents. I thought I'd finally found love with my husband, but I guess that was romance, which wasn't lasting in our case. Now I have a quiet, very caring relationship and I question whether that is love or just a resting place I need after chaos and hurt. I'm choosing to call it love and enjoy every moment of it. Thank you for joining Vision and Verb today and sharing this part of your life.
"to carry lessons from the first (life cycle) into the second...."
That is what I love about this later part of life, that wisdom that comes with maturity.
This is such a moving story and will stay with me, as will your image. Enjoy your new life to the full!
Thanks so much joining us today.
Each performs routine and random acts of kindness, that does make for a comforting relationship, Ray. Lovely post. A second lifetime? What an abundant offering!
the exuberance of your free fall into a second chapter is energizing and inspiring....what a lovely post...and life!
Outstanding image! And I really enjoyed your love story ... no matter what kind it is, when it happens or what we call it, all love is grand and to be cherished.
An enjoyable and rewarding read. Good to se that V@V is putting you to good use Ray. Of course your other 'good use' is writing a parallel to my memoirs.
It is nice to hear you talk of such intimate, thought-provoking subjects, Ray. You are indeed a fortunate man to have received your second chance - at love or life, you seem it have it pretty together.
Well for a start the photograph is a delight, showing this intimate & symbiotic relaationship twixt very different forms of life. This naturally leads to symbiosis between cultures, Austrailian and Thai, which, on the face of it, you might not think could be as close as the one between buffalo & bird. But it is because as a second-chancer you have successfully made that leap of culture & faith. Good for you mate - not everybody can effect this personal magic trick!
It is a fascinating photo - and your interpretation is personal and interesting - a fine symbiosis of different persons with a different background- I liked reading your thoughtful and open -hearted reflection - I have the feeling it must be love to live together in this lovely and respectful way since a lot of years - besides the sexual attraction which is important and wonderful, too. During a journey to England I could observe a couple which reminds me a bit of you both - he was more than 60 years old, an educated and cultivated, personality of much esprit, she a younger Thai lady, very soft, very kind and attractively dressed up, but mostly silent. She lived up when she saw animals and flowers. I could imagine that the lacks of verbal language could be a problem. How can I express my deepest and most complex feelings and thoughts in a foreign language, maybe, this were only my personal problem, for the language and conversations are my first and most dominant kind of communication. Thank you very much for your fine tribute. In my view you seem to be a very sensitive man.
What a fabulous photo! I think when it comes right down to it, we all have our own definitions of love. Second chances are one of the best things in life, we bring all of our wisdom with us to the table. A lovely post!
I enjoyed your story very much Mr. Story... relationships between two beings no matter how different they may be... can be seen all around us every day.
It 's been said that opposites are attracted to one another. In seven days... Penny and i will have been married for fourty six years... but not without compromises. We are like Yin-Yang... she who is soft hearted... gentle... quiet and shy... whereas i am outgoing... active and can start a conversation with anyone... even a stranger... but together we are whole.
Second chances in life are a gift that you give yourself in order to share them with others. Your comparison between the Water Buffalo and the Myna Bird is a beautiful analogy... but in my opinion... the roles in this theme should have been reversed. It would be much more realistic if Ma had been the Myna Bird and you the Water Buffalo Ray.
....peter:)
What a heartwarming story, you had me smiling throughout and the image is stunning :-)
Oh my goodness, birds of a feather do not always flock together! You sound wonderfully content with your friend - and yes happy. Random acts of kindness for each other - what a lovely thing to create and keep a bond. I too am from Thailand...and I most definitely will check out your blog. Welcome to Vision and Verb!
Ray, Ray, Ray!! I am so enjoying your site, your beautiful photographs and your incredible writing style! What a wonderful heartfelt post this is. Please come back for many more visits!!!
"Love" is such a misused and abused word, so easily said. But what does it truly mean?
I think I found it in your beautiful words.