Photography As A Remedy
September 20, 2012 * * * * * Posted by: Puna 
As some of you may know that my boy left for college last month. I know this happens all the time, you birth a child, you feed him, bathe him, comb his hair and you obsess about every single stroke of the toothbrush. Then he turns 18 and he's gone. Perhaps I should have prepared myself better for the leaving, but my little inner voice tells me that it wouldn't have made a difference, I would still miss him in the most profound ways.
He is in many ways, the joy of the house. The heartbeat that is the center of a home beats faster when he's around. He's charming and boisterous, humorous and irreverent - but never crossing the line when it comes to his mamma. Now that is the definition of emotional maturity. When it comes to the latter, he's way ahead of his peers.
So it's not a surprise when we find ourselves, all of us that's left at home that is, in a little bit of a funk. Things are quiet, yes they are.
One way to help ease this latest transition for me is to go back to what I love, photography. Finding the perfect light, spying the perfectly framed heron, and looking at the details that God put forth everywhere is a remedy for a longing heart. I love the things I see through my lens, and it's captured, forever and ever.
I find that going back through the many photos I took of the family also fills the void. What precious memories, captured and documented through two pieces of mirror. It's a miracle it is.
I will do more of that - finding that joy. Like for many of you, photography for me is the remedy.
Reader Comments (20)
I remember exactly this feeling when my firstborn left to college. I cried for days. And the only way I got thru it was by spending hours out walking with my camera...and reminding myself that all things do change. Just as soon as you'all get used to his absence - he'll be back home for Thanksgiving (or sooner).
Beautiful..peaceful...meditative scene and image!
Thank you so much Marcie! I'm so happy for your words. They lift me!
I used to believe I had no heart when I heard such stories, Puna, about the untold sorrow and grief felt by mothers when their children left home. My experience was quite the opposite because I needed the freedom. Of course, I must add that when our firstborn left for college, a week later Bill and I started our divorce process and I, too, left home as I knew it. I became a single adult building a new nest...without children or spouse. It was a bittersweet time for me but not because my chilld had left home. I sometimes wonder what it would have felt like if our divorce had been significantly earlier or later than this milestone?
As this relates to YOU, I can still try to feel your emotion and only wish you LOTS of great photographic endeavors to salve your soul!
I love the solitude of your image.
Yes..."and looking at the details that God put forth everywhere is a remedy..."
I so agree with that statement. You have said so well what this hobby does for me, too. Years ago when my grandfather died, a friend recommended that I spend a day doing what he and I would have enjoyed doing together, which was going out and taking photos. He was my guide, my teacher, and a wonderful friend. The day I took the camera out and had my "grandpa day" was a step toward healing my grieving heart.
So keep doing what you are doing. This image is beautiful... love the light.
This boy of yours sounds like a real joy and he will always be with you, that mama love is deep ~ wonderful, awesome image!
May you find ways to fill the hours. As you say, this is a family transition, and my experience has no place in yours except to say, "photograph away!" ....marcie's point is a good one...thanksgiving will be sooner than you think! thank you for reminding us all about nests, loss, cameras, pictures, and love.
I get it two fold :) Enjoy your art.
Puna, I may not understand from your perspective since I don't have children, but I so understand how photography fills the void. I tell people all the time I'd be in therapy full time if it wasn't for my photography! Photography for me is my best friend and my soul mate. The best thing that's ever happened to me. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings!
Oh, boy, this is so close to what I'm thinking about at this time in my life. My daughter is a senior in high school, will turn 18 next month, and is pulling her college applications together as I type this. She's my youngest and I dread her leaving even as I know this is what we've prepared her for all her life. I love that you've rediscovered photography for yourself; that's something I do, too, and I've been shooting photos of my daughter every chance I get. When it's time to focus the lens on something else, I hope to relish in the beauty that is all around so I can share it with my daughter when she comes home to visit!
I noticed when our son left for college that we called each other every couple of days or so. (That was before cell phones and everyone calling each other ALL of the time!) After a few weeks, the phone calls would be less frequent and less urgent. It was a 'Hallelujah Day" when he no longer asked for MONEY in those phone calls! :) Growing up and leaving the nest is all part of the process. When we step back and give it some space, we realize we wouldn't want it any other way. You'll be amazed at how quickly you will fill your life with new interests and activities; photography being an awesome one! Welcome to a new phase in life; a good one, really.
Puna, I know your pain all to well. You are so right, you care for this human being and care about it's every need, then poof...there gone. I cried when he left and I cried when he came home only because I knew I could only have him for such a short time. My son and I were very close. You are not alone. One saving grace was I still had Haley at home, and I was really looking forward to giving her alot more time and attention so that part was good. Keeping busy is the best thing! I dread next summer when my baby girl goes away also, then I will have a real empty nest..I am already trying to plan things to do that will keep me sane. lol.
I think anything that can get you outside of your head for a time and focusing on something you enjoy or that is outside of yourself is a good remedy for whatever ails you. Horseback riding has been that kind of activity for me -- moving me into that zone of intuition, focus and rhythm.
That photo could only be balm for a sore heart. Thank you for a beautiful post.
May the longing for your son feel less painful with time, Puna. I am reading this and thinking ahead to when Darling Daughter will live, an the end of this year. I think I too will have to use photography as a remedy, thank you for sharing your heart here with us.
We still have almost four years until our only child will leave the home, but I already dread it. Photography to me seems a wonderful remedy - it helps me a lot and I don't know where I would be without my photography - even more so than painting. I wish you wonderful times with your photography and a beautiful new relationship with your son.
Puna, absolutely beautiful image! I'm right there with you and letting go...what an honor to have these beautiful, young men in our lives.
It's inspiring to hear you using photography as your "remedy". Keep diving deep Puna...looking forward to see more of your remedy at work!!!
remember these pictures, i'm sure there will have a particular poignancy when you look back at them. my friend has just sent her 9 year old off to boarding school in kenya. only 9!! He's such a little chap. i haven't had to do this, but i can imagine it is very tough.
Oh, what a lovely photo! It is a hard time, such a huge change, setting our babies free is never easy. It sounds like he is a wonderful young man, so you can take comfort in knowing that you have prepared him well for life. And these days, quite often, they return to the nest a few times before they fly off to their own... giving us a chance to get used to the idea. xo
I think photography is a good way of taking your mind of the emptiness that has been left behind. This photo is wonderful.